He got butthurt over me leaving out this detail of the party... why?

Help me understand... my friends threw me and another friend a "congrats" party for landing jobs right out of college. I've been getting to know this guy for over a month now and we have been taking it SLOW. He said it takes him a long time to warm up to people and at first, I was turned off by him not being eager to hang out solo and such. But I'm really enjoying the "no pressure" like he is. Anyways, I invited him to the party our friends were throwing for a mutual friend of ours - the hosts were the ones who kinda hooked us up - and he didn't know it was my party too because I had only gotten a job a few days before the party, making it a last-minute decision for the party to be a joint party. He was like..."why didn't you tell me this was a party for you too?" I said it was last minute and didn't understand why he was butthurt about me leaving out that detail. I also said that we hadn't talked much in the last week and I didn't really have a chance to mention it. He then said, "Are you going to let me know about your birthday plans this week?" because he had overheard me telling our friends I wanted to do something for my birthday but hadn't decided on anything yet. I smiled and joked by saying "Maybe." Where is this coming from? Does he feel like I'm trying to hide things from him or exclude him? Why did he react the way he did?

He also said "you know you can text me anytime" when I said we hadn't talked much in the last week and that that was why I hadn't mentioned it was my party too.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm confused.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe he wants to do something special for you and doesn't want anything to get in the way of his plans.


What Girls Said 1

  • He was probably just hurt that you didn't tell him about the party being yours. I guess he was hurt that maybe you didn't feel he was important enough to tell him it was yours.

    • I think you have the best answer. Guess I didn't see how that could come off that way. What should I do? Just make sure he knows about the plans for my birthday or discuss it further and let him know I like him and that I really didn't think it was a big deal because he was already coming?

    • I would clarify it yes, just to make sure he doesn't continue to stay hurt about it. Also make sure he knows about your birthday plans. This way we just eliminate all ways he might feel hurt again.