Honest. Do you hate some society rules these days when it comes to dating?

I have heard many things from guys and girls who I dont know if they are still old fashion and dont like to break rules, they are young but like to follow old rules or they believe that if a person break the rules it makes them a bad, rude or impolite person.

I dont know what is the issue or big deal regarding this when it comes to the woman in particular:

1. Is not correct a woman ask a man out, becaues that is a men's role
2. Is not appropriate if a woman invites a guy (not all the time of course) even to invite the guy for his birthday becaue it means the guy is taking advantage of the situation by letting a woman pay his food.
3. If the woman and the guy it is just getting to know each other and had been just on a first date and in the first date the guy paid you, the woman should not invite the guy for a second date and each one has to pay on their own.
4. The first date should be taken place in a cheap place because they are just getting to know each other and only when they are more serious or at least in more dates, the place to eat could be upgraded to a more chic place ( it does not have to be so expensive but better)
5. The woman should not call the guy first, let the guy do that, even if the girl has to wait for his call.

I mean I understand there are several guys roles that only guys can do and I do agree on that but there are others that in modern times had changed and they are not longer a guy thing unless the guy is uncomfortable and wants to keep his gender role intact to woo the lady. Why a woman can woo a guy instead?

I met this guy and we went out on the first date 3 wks ago, he paid, now we are going to the second date and he even told me it was my time to treat him and Im going to treat him, and people are telling me (even some guys in their 40) I should not be doing that, we should split the bill or each one pay on our own because it is too soon since we are just knowing each other. We are not teenager we are in our 40's and I work.

What if the woman likes to spend money on the guy (adding to point number 4). Why is that seen as bad? Do guys will see that bad?

Really guys do you feel bad or feel powerless or less manly that a woman in these modern times perform the roles that once were done only by you regardless of how old was the guy?

Girls Wil you do that or still will keep a guy to perform his men's roles and you will never take the initiative?
I asked that beausae there is a friend around my age who told me that I should not pay for a guy next second date because I hardly know him and that is not the way it has to be done. I should invite the person when I know him more. Let me clarify the guy paid on the first date and we did not go to cheap place (not super expensive either and I thought it is fair enough for me to pay him for the second even more if it is for his bday. Now the following dates we can share expenses that I dont mind.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I have not really gone with the old school rules. I ask out women and I have been asked out. Often we split the check on the first date. I don't particularly care who calls or texts first. If I really like the woman I don't mind picking a more expensive place for the first date.

    Its up to you whether or not to spilt the bill on the second. I don't like the rotational pay (he, she, he, she) outside of a relationship. When getting to know someone I rather split the bill till the point where I really think I could go out with her long term.
    Its okay for a woman to woo the guy. Its the 21st century.

    Sorry for rambling. Your are an independent woman in the 21st century. Do what is most comfortable for you. Follow your own code.

    • I mean since he first paid the first time I thought the second time it be ok if I did the same then if we meet for other dates then that is another thing and we can split the bill or pay on our own. But some people tells me no you dont have to pay let him pay. I mean the guy did the effort to pay for me since it was the first date and maybe he wanted to leave a good impression so Im just returning the favor what is wrong with that even if it is just the second date and if it is for his upcoming bday dont u think it be fair if I invite him for movies and dinner?

    • Its totally fine. The rotation thing is not my style. At least early on. Its totally fine if you pay

    • I mean is not like really rotation but since he paid the first time i guess the second time it be my treat then if we go other times then each one pay for our own meal. Dont u think

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • I always ended up paying but you could always pay the tip if you would like, I guess I'm still old school 😊

  • I hate that texting is something that must be done now to go on a date people say it's to get to know a person, but isn't that what a first date is for?

  • Just girls ego isn't it.
    ''Oh, Look what MY MAN bought me''... xD

    • So you think some girls ego do not let see beyond their eyes on that?

    • Nailed it ;)
      Its just a brag isn't it, So chicks can almost prove how wealthy their guy is. Which makes them more... 'Socialy Elite'.

  • Because those people are stupid.

    Since guys and girls earn almost equal. The bill should be shared. Or one time the guy lay and another time the girl.

  • pretty much every day i just want a girl i like that likes me.


What Girls Said 2

  • I am thoroughly of the opinion that there are no rules to dating and relationships other than "consent and respect. Always".

    • Yay someone with a good head! 😉

    • Show All
    • I like a guy and this is the situation on our first date. The first date he took me because he kind of suggested we can go to Applebees and we went there, for both he paid around $60. So this time it has to be in a similar place like that, not lower because I believe it won't be fair for him that if he spent that money on me the first time, either if he had money enough or not (for example in case he did not but wanted to treat me so he paid anyway), this second time I have to treat him in a place similar like Applebees, not cheaper. And even more if the second date it will be for his bday. I can't go cheaper even if it is just the second date and Im just getting to know him. I mean Im not going to treat him in a super very fancy expensive restaurant of course not but I can't go and treat him in a junk or fast food like BK, KFC, Taco Bell or Mac. Some have told me I barely know the guy to even invite him to a chic place, but what can I do if the guy treated me first

    • I generally try to keep things even.. but there really aren't any rules to it. If it's on or around his birthday ask him if there is anywhere in particular he'd like to go, maybe a place he's been wanting to try..

  • I'm more against the current society expectations - i. e. the exact opposite of these things. I like when I'm being asked out by guys, and I'm especially thrilled when it's once I care about. Maybe it's because I'm a bit shy and would rather die than show interest in a guy before he started pursuing me.

    You shouldn't pay. You'll lose his respect, even if he's insisting on the opposite.

    • why can't you show the guy instead that you care instead of him showing he cares? Maybe like you said because you are shy. I mean the rejection works both ways not only women.