I've been asked out for the first time by a guy out of my league (or so I thought) and this guy came on way strong... I think?

SO I've never done this dating thing before, but i'm pretty sure it start with getting to know eachother right? I seem to give off this "tell me your life" vibe and so does my mom, whic hI don't mind because I like that people feel comfotable and trusting of me and thats what this guy said he found interesting about me, and that there's something else but he wants to knwo what it is. this guy. After work we spoke on the phone for a couple hours and it was fine at first, seem like a good guy, but then he started talking a lot deeper. Which isn't a bad thing, but he basically said he already knows me, and started saying he knows i've never had a boyfriend or sex, I assume because of my obvious awkwardness, and that he knows im not like emotionally open but he wants to make me "emotionaly uncomfortable" so I can feel comfortable talking to him. by the way we've only met twice before no conversation just hellos, and he didn't know my name until after I told him, after he asked for my number. When it was quiet he'd say like "your nervous, huh?" which at first I thought was funny because he knew I was so obviously nervous but then he kept asking and asking what I'm thinking, if it's about him, said I should be a model, said he'd support me in whatever I do, that I'm already a part of his life and i'm not some girl from work, told me about he and his female best friend sleept together and that she seems like she still wants to but he doesn't (which is a huge red flag of BS for me), said he knows i'm the type of person not to trust easily and loose all trust with one fuck up (which I thought was normal?), and I don't know I feel like he said too much for a first time actually having a conversation. BAsically everything he said to me reminded me of Chistian Grey of 50 Shades and I took it as manipulation, so it scares me a little. He had a lot of bad things go on in his life and I feel like he needs to gather himself before he dates anyone really. He seems like a really good guy with his coworkers, and I love that he's kinda a dork, we have a lot in common so far, we talked about his life and it was a good conversation until it got weird, to me. I guess my question is, is this normal for a first conversation of interest? He wants me to go hangout with him, but how do I say if this is gonna happen we gotta really slow it down, especially because i'm knew to all this.

sorry so long I just have a lot of mixed feelings about this guy, he shared with me that he used to get angry a lot because he was bullied, but in a kinda defensive way he said he doesn't anymore, and that kinda worries me too. Should I hangout with him and tell him I want us to get to know eachother before I decide anything? He said he wants me in his life no matter what happens and if he means it, I don't see why I shouldn't?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Talk to him, let him know how you feel. No relationship is going to work if there is a lack in communication and you want to be able to tell him anything and everything so tell him... also tell him there's time for everything, there's time to do things but only when that time comes no need to rush it. If he's the right guy he'll understand this... if not, then he'll pressure and thats when you back off and honestly this is when you try to move on because guys like that don't tend to hang around long...

    • is there a way of knowing before? or should I hangout with him and talk to him?

    • Show All
    • Yeah, just a few things to think about, I hope it works out for the best with you :) And no worries, your more than welcome, any questions, you know where to find me :)

    • Thanks for the MHO, hope it all works out :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Damn girl... try and keep it a little shorter next time. Just saying, it was kinda hard to keep up with all that but I did it, just for you.

    Yeah, he sounds kinda weird. Who talks about all that stuff for a first conversation? He's lucky you're such a nice girl because I've had chicks that got totally angry and accusatory, telling me that I don't know them and what not... and I was NOTHING like the dude you are describing.

    If I were you I'd start to hang back. Truthfully, if a girl did that to me I'd start thinking she was a clinger.

    • yeah sorry, i thought it would be, then I remembered all the stuff he was saying and wrote it
      I felt the same way, which is why I want to get to know him as a person before all of this, you think I should at least hangout with him first and find out what he's all about? I was gonna tell him to keep it chill so we can slowly get to know each other, but in a nice way haha

    • Sure, if you're really interested in him. "getting to know" this guy shouldn't be such a big deal. You're only hanging out. But yeah, I'm already sensing clingyness... but of course, if you like that then whatever.

    • Yeah, I think i'm just gonna talk to him.

  • "how do I say if this is gonna happen we gotta really slow it down, especially because i'm knew to all this."

    Just say that, seriously.

  • Be careful. Look up BOD traits.


What Girls Said 2

  • Run for your life... Stay a way he sounds like a crazy person. No that is not normal for a first date. I don't care what no one says save tour self before its to late. Find your self with someone that haves less drama in their life. Even if he is nice do you really see your self with him? That is the question you have to ask your self.

    • I actually can see myself with him, he was totally my type until he got way personal and it wasn't even a date it was a phone call. I'm gonna talk to him though.

    • Yeah you should talk to him then

  • I don't have a good feeling about this. What if he still keeps that friend with benefits on the side if you get together? And he's too intense to be emotionally stable in my opinion.

    • that's how I feel, I'm hanging out with him tomorrow, I don't think it's a date so I'm hoping it'll be open for discussion, but either way I need to tell him

    • Lie and say you like someone else already to soften the blow to his ego.

    • hadn't thought of that haha