My long-term girlfriend recently told me that she feels we need a break, thoughts on the matter?

Okay, so...
Over the past couple of months, I've noticed that my girlfriend had been increasingly distant from me, and generally not being her normal bubbly, happy self. She's been stressed out over school a lot lately, and I questioned her about it when I first detected it, but she simply brushed it off as school and issues with her friends. Fast-forward two months, and nothing has really changed.
We decide to organise for her to come over to my place for a night since we hadn't caught up lately as we'd both been quite busy. The morning after, I decide to talk to her about how she'd been acting as of late, as I'd wanted to for a while now. Lo and behold, she'd been wanting to talk to me about something too.
Long story short, she feels that she's entering into a new chapter of her life, and she needs her space to collect herself and make sure she's really ready for what life has to throw at her, which I think is awesome and I totally support her doing.
She insists that she still loves me, and she absolutely hates to do such a thing to me, but she needs to do this for her. She doesn't consider this us breaking up, but she does say that we're technically not together. But depending on if we both still want to, then (maybe) in a few months, we can try again. But in the meantime, we try just being friends.

That thought alone has made me feel a lot better about this entire scenario, but one question still plagues my mind:
We've been together for a while, and we're always honest with each other and we tell each other what's wrong as soon as something comes up. So why did she feel the need to hide it for so long without even acknowledging that it was something as big as this?
I understand that she may not want to do it because of a variety of reasons, but it still makes me wonder.

It's been several days now, and she has been acting quite differently to how she normally acts. She's a lot more open and back to her old self, but even so, she is just different now..

Any thoughts, advice or criticism would be greatly appreciated, thank you so much everyone!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I am glad that you totally support her on this, although you can't help but wonder why.
    Well, I'm sure there was a lot of factors that made her put it off for awhile and it could be due to a lot of school work, as you mentioned, maybe she's also collecting her thoughts on what she should do or say to you so you won't be hurt or misunderstand her, trying to find the right time.

    Sometimes when a lot is going on in a person's life, it can feel like a mess, like it's all jumbled and mushed up into one big ball of something you don't understand. And while you can dive right into all of it, she chose step back and sort those things out one by one, which I think is logical, and which I think she should do by herself so she can find her own rhythm again.

    I guess you can call it a setback in your relationship, but I think if you ever go back together again, she'd be more composed and able to juggle you together with everything else that's going on in her life :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • If her mind is made up already, there's nothing you can really do but give her time and space

    • Precisely what I'm planning on doing. It's just that it seems so out-of-character for her.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds to me she's met someone else and has been conflicked as to what she wants. Now she want to see how things work out with the other guy, while keeping you on hold, saying you might get back together in some months (if it doesn't work out with the other guy) Saying she doesn't want to break up, but then specifies that you will not be together sounds strange. If she was just going though some things and wanted some space, she wounden't have to do that.