How can I hide being desparate and insecure?

TL;DR I suck, how can I hide it?

They say guys avoid desperate and lonely girls like the plague, which is a problem for me bc I'm desperate and lonely--I'll just admit it and if anyone wants to berate me for it then that's okay. I'm in my 20's and very attractive, but I just left a paramilitary career and I'll be honest, it messed me up really bad. I'm emotionally destroyed. I'm in treatment and making a lot of progress, but how do you explain that to people?

My problem is that I'll do everything right with guys at first, have pleasant conversation, be a good listener and not smother them, but then when they start actually coming onto me, I'll crash and start stuttering, lose control of the conversation and say things that don't make sense, clam up and stop eye-contact and then it's obvious: another crazy girl with issues.

I don't think I ask a lot, I hate compliments and I don't want a man to "validate me." I don't complain and hardly talk about myself. I want to be supportive and I never insult, I even like sports and my ideal date would be UFC Fight Night. But I don't know how to play those games that will make men go crazy for me. I'll admit that I'm very insecure and have my challenges, but I'm not the crazy call 23 times a day and suspicious of all your girl friends type, I'm just so shy and awkward that it's hard to even make friends much less date.

So yeah, I suck, but is there anyway to hide it so I don't scare guys off?


Most Helpful Girl

  • When you're over people and they do everything to remind u of them LOL this is fun to watch, had deleted my gag account because no one gives a damn whats on this site until I saw and couldn't resist posting one last time LMAO this is fun... Get off GAG and go spend time with your family ;) LOL
    This is just sad hihihi well you all clearly dont like me, its not new tell me something I already dont know FYI:am moving on stronger, better and with asmile NEXT ! LOL this makes moving on so much easier knowing you'd go through all this trouble ( OMG thank you i feel somuch better, gosh i didn't deserve you people. You're just sad and it's a pity lol. I needed this God knows it's like He fast tracked my healing process... See ya :*

    I could not resist :D


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Rather than the issue itself, tackle the cause of it - ie lack of confidence.

    • thanks any pointers on how?

    • Hard to say, kinda different for everryone and very dependant on their individual situation. There's always psychologists, they're a great help with pretty much anything.

What Girls Said 1

  • The majority of guys are pinheads. Be happy you don't have to deal with them.