This is a problem for me. I go for periods where I don't meet any suitable date, and then all of a sudden I have like 5 different girls to choose from and I'm like, How can I do this!
I kind of feel guilty if I dated one, fearing that I might be leading her on and that the others will find out that I dated her (word spreads like wild fire) and it might kill things off with them.
What would you do?
Go on a non-commital date with each of them and make it clear?
Hold back and see who wants you the most or is the most suitable?
It's hard to work out who is suitable without actually dating them and getting to know them.
Most Helpful Guy
Dating isn't marriage.
There's no commitment outside of what's openly discussed together.
As a man it's your job to make your OWN rules about dating. Don't rely upon what your parents taught you, or what the church demands. This is YOUR life, so take a few minutes to decide what works for YOU... while measuring your choices against how it affects those you date.
Here's what I've come to accept, maybe it'll give you some ideas.
1) Dating isn't marriage. So relax a little. There's no commitments yet. It's just dating.
2) Dating comes first. It's where we flirt and tease and get to know each other. Give yourself about 10 dates with a girl before you start to think about words like "relationship" or "commitment" or "exclusive."
3) Sex does complicate things because often for women it implies exclusivity. It doesn't for me, but I care enough to not want to mislead anyone I'm dating. So if you're wanting to have sex with your date, but don't want to lead her into thinking you want to marry her, then it's perfectly OKAY to express your thoughts on the matter. Preferably before you're naked.
Often this is as simple as having playful talk about your expectations, and her's, around dating and sex. Maybe something like, "Hey, what's your expectations around dating and sex?" This is where you might say, "From my point of view sex can be casual as long as both people are on the same page, although I find women tend to want exclusivity after sex shows up."
If you prefer to be exclusive once you start having sex, which is a wise choice if only to avoid STD's and such, then let her know long before you have sex. Often this just means taking sex off the table for a while, especially if you're still just testing the waters with her.
But many men and women are happy to have casual sex while dating with out expecting more from each other. It all depends on you. You know yourself. Are you going to get needy and weird after sex? Then don't have sex until you're exclusive.
4) If you're worried about misleading her then let her know that you see "dating" as casual until you've both talked about being exclusive. This way she knows you'll be open to dating other people as well, and you can stop worrying about it.
Dating it's a trick and there's no need to lie. Be open and honest one date number one and then you can relax and date as many women as you want until you find the one you want to be exclusive with.
I hope this helps?
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