Girls, what's the biggest problem you have with guys you message with on an online dating site?

Obviously there's a lot of aspects to online dating that can be frustrating, but of the guys you ladies end up having a conversation with and think you might want to meet up with in person, which of the poll choices is most accurate?

The reason I'm asking is I do pretty well with getting dates with women I meet in person, and I do pretty well with connecting with a woman on an online dating and having her respond back to me with multiple long messages, but when it comes to transitining a online message converation to a phone call or date they seem disappear.

I'm sure sometimes it's simply that they have a good conversation with another guy and lose interest in me, but it happens almost everytime so I think I might be doing something wrong. If anything I think I might either too aggressive and asking them to meet in person pretty quick (after about 2 long messages I'll give my number so we can talk one the phone and schedule a date), or maybe not showing my interest well enough, as I will text them when's a good time to call or what evenings they have free to go out and wait to hear from them, which sometimes is never.

Any idea what I might be doing wrong?
  • Most of the guys I meet online seem needy. They message\text\call me way too much.
    Vote A
  • Most of the guys I meet online seem indifferent. They rarely message\text\call and don't show their interest.
    Vote B
  • Most of the guys I meet online are too aggressive. They try to get me to meet them in person too soon.
    Vote C
  • Most of the guys I meet online are too shy. They take too long to ask to meet me and I get tired of waiting.
    Vote D
  • See Results
    Vote E
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Most Helpful Girl

  • What you're doing is definitely casual. Only texting them when making plans to meet. Thats normal though. Im just wondering why you dont get second dates, but most prolly, they are not interested. It goes the same way for guys too. I've been in online dating app since Feb this year and so far I've dated 5 guys. Out of 5, 3 guys i've been on dates more than once. The way they text varies. One would just text me when we make plans to meet. One would send me random messages any day. One is constantly messaging me. And yes, you are pretty quick to invite them after a few convos but since they agreed to meet you, it means they dont care.

    • Actually, most of the time I never get a first date with the women I message online. Maybe that is the problem like you said, I'm pretty quick to invite them out. I guess instead of 2 ill give it 3 or 4. I used to be an extremely shy and timid guy. I'm not anymore, but perhaps in my efforts to not be shy I end up being too aggressive.

      Sometimes if I'm especially interested in a woman and she gave me her number already, I'll try calling maybe 7-10 days after asking the first time. I don't think that's being too needy, but it's never been successful either. Usually it goes to voicemail or she answers but is busy lol.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I'd guess you're being too aggressive. Maybe have a few more messages before asking for the phone number, and then text casually for a bit instead of jumping straight to the date. It's great you're being direct, but online dating scares a lot of women. Guys almost have to tread more carefully so that we don't assume he just wants to get laid, or is a creep. Try going a little slower and see how it works out.

  • I hardly get to that point. I look through my options, see none of who I like or see a few. Message for a couple of days and then stop checking in because I'm bored with the dating site... LMAO.

  • Or they ask me for nudes. Ugh yuuuuck


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