What would you do if your parents hates your gf/bf because they're not within your race?

I knew how they were always like, which is why I never introduced her to them nor my other relatives. Needlessly to say they still found out through another relative who saw a picture of us kissing, immediately informed them and both of them are very dissapointed. They have reprimanded on how I'm not dating my own race and things like ''I hope you don't get her pregnant'' or ''are you serious, why can't you date another white girl, your own race''.

They think I've literally lost my mind and that we were never meant to mix with someone darker. How many others have to deal with this? parents hating your partner for no reason other than their race or darker skin color.
But I don't see anything wrong with her. I love her and can't help who I fell in love. Needlessly to say I'm really stressed out.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Aww this is a tough position to be in..
    As a black girl whose been in this position but on the opposing end...

    You only really have two options to stick with your gut or abid by your parents..
    Both have pros and cons

    I think some cases like this are easier than others
    If it's a white/black issue than I think you have a fair chance of succeeding in standing your ground
    They'll probably take the relationship more serious as you both progress in terms of time

    If it's like a black/Indian thing than that's a whole different ball park and odds are against you..
    I have no to low hope of this is that.. Case

    Pros: you get to be with the person you want
    Cons: your parents may try to give an ultimatum and cut you off financially

    If you give in to your parents:
    Pros: you won't face any of the previous cons mentioned
    Cons: letting them win this battle is pretty much given them the green light to dictate who you can be with and if it happened once it'll happen again.

    Plus you may live with regret

    • Sorry I just read you said
      "White" girl
      Ignore the Indian part
      There's hope ;)

    • Show All
    • yes, this is a white (me) and black (her) issue, I wish they would see her beyond the skin color and actually give her chance and get to know her but I don't see that happening

    • I think you should give it time, I can see it happening especially since It's become a common mix now..

      I'm sorry your family is so close minded but I agree if they get to know her they could change.
      Generally parents want what's best for their kids..
      So if you could show that somehow it would help..
      I mean she's in college, no kids assuming
      She's already showing that she's not a stereotype
      If your parents could just see that somehow it could help
      Usually close mindedness comes from views of superiority or stereotypes passed down..

      Even if you could get one person on board it would help everyone transition like that person could influence everyone else

Most Helpful Guy

  • Unfortunately this happens far too often. If u really like this girl, u will deal with the disapproval of your parents.

    You are at a crossroads right now. Are you your own person, or are u going to submit to be the person your parents want u to be?

    • True, I've never been in this position before until now. I never even thought I would fall in love with a black girl as I've been taught to go with my own race for years. It just naturally happened when I first met her at college in my humanities classes and we were assigned to work on a project together. That's how it all started.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I honestly think I'd have to distance myself from my parents and that way of thinking if I was in that situation. I don't like to be around racist people, and that wouldn't change just because they're my parents. Luckily that's never been a problem for me since I'm the product of an interracial relationship.

    • You're lucky. I've never been this stressed out before. All these years I've been taught that whites go with whites, indians with indians and blacks with blacks. But it all changed one day at college in my humanities class when I was assigned to work on a project with two people and one of them being my now black girlfriend.

    • If you see this turning into a serious relationship then you need to talk to your parents and make them understand that different skin colors does not equal different species (though you should try to do that anyway). It's not fair to yourself or the girl if your chance at a relationship ends just because your parents have an antiquated way of thinking. I'm sorry you're in this situation.

What Guys Said 0

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