Need help, Is this cause for concern? Relationship starting off poorly?

This is a long one so bear with me. So I met this girl in December and we went on a couple of dates. Now at the time I didn't want anything serious and she seemed like a nice enough girl so I told her we should maybe just be friends. She was upset about it and for the next couple months we barely talked as I think she started dating her ex. Now in mid February and since then we really only had a friendw with benefits relationship. Now I could tell she liked me more cause I only wanted sex but she wanted to go out and do relationship type stuff which I wasn't up for. Now as of late we have been spending more time togther, texting everyday seeing each other once a week and it's been more than sex even though we're not exclusive. I finally started to realize that I like her and on Saturday we got into an argument cause she was upset that she said I only use her for sex even though as of late that hasn't been true, and that she wanted a closer relationship. I was rude to her and said I didn't wanna speak with her anymore cause I felt insulted. Now yesterday I messaged her and she came over to talk, we just had sex and didn't realy talk. At the end of th enight when we discussed what we would do I expressed my feelings for her and told her I liked her and that we could try to be exclusive. She said she wanted that but after 15 mins she said she started talking to another guy in the past couple of days and that she didn't know if she was willing to just date me exclusively. I was so confused cause she said that she wanted something closer and she said she's wanted me since January. I said ok and we just talked and hung out and went toget food, now when I dropped her off she started crying and climbed on top of me and said she wants to be with me and that nobody else matters. Now is this a bad sign? The fact that she was willing to not want to date me because of some guy she barely even knew and just met? Or am I just overreacting?


Most Helpful Girl

  • She might just have not wanted to give in so easily since you have been making her wait since January.

    • That's what I was thinking at first but isn't that a risky play? Just tossing some stranger in the mix making it seem like that matters more?

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    • Yea guess the whole situation is perplexing, her rate of messaging slowed down substantially since last night as well, guess telling her how I felt made me look vulnerable and now she just isn't as interested maybe.

    • Just ask her on a proper date and treat her like your girlfriend. This is new territory for both of you so give yourselves time to break it in.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You are over-reacting. She said she didn't know I she wanted to be monogamous because she just wanted to say something to hurt you because you had hurt her. . . and that's what some girls do. At the end of the night, she expressed her true feelings.

    Every time I hear about the friends with benefits thing, one of the partners has not been honest about their feelings and wants more than just sex.

    Talk to this girl about your feelings periodically (actual talking, not texting!) and it will help you to become more aware of your own feelings. Your lack of awareness almost messed this up for you and becoming more self-aware is a part of the process of maturing.


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