I invited him for movies over at my place?

Question

I invited him for movies over at my place?

Anonymous

When we were texting today I mentioned some horror movies I really liked and he said he hadn't seen them yet but wanted to, so I asked him if he wanted to come over this weekend so we could watch them together. All of our other dates have been in public places and he is always the one to initiate, but I wanted to bring him into my comfort zone and actually have some time to spend some one-on-one time with him in a quiet place where there aren't kids running around and screaming.

Now.. he lives like 35-40 minutes away... and we don't have a television in our living room (if you can even call it that); just the kitchen and the two bedrooms, and I usually just watch movies on my laptop. We were planning on going to the movies this week down near his hometown (usually we meet each other halfway to the movies) but we might not be able to do it since he's sick.

I mean, our first kiss was pretty innocent, and I'm certainly not against progressing in that sense making out or anything but.. did I just dig myself a hole here?

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Most Helpful Guy

Basuru

Not necessarily. I don't think movies at a girls place means sex. I might try for it but all it means for sure it's probably some cuddling, maybe some making out and a movie. Know what your max point is and be clear with him about it. Maybe even broach it in a funny way over text and let him know what to expect.

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- Asker
  
  I mean, so you don't think it would be heavily suggestive if we had to watch the movies in my bed? These are horror movies, by the way... he hasn't seen The Purge yet and I felt like he needed to. I've never dated before, so I'm kind of oblivious. I just really wanted to bring him into my world and show him that I trusted him... that, and he seems uncomfortable showing affection in public (we haven't had much physical contact) and a bit nervous around me in general, and I feel like we would both relax a bit more if we were alone.
  
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- Basuru
  
  Is this happening in like a dorm style place or an apartment? Either way it's not necessarily heavily suggestive. If he's how you say he is then he probably isn't even thinking you'll be cuddling. Like I said though maybe broach the subject comically. Say something like "you're not allowed to cling to me during the scary parts" or if you want him to then go with "You can hold on to me when you get scared, I'll keep you safe (but no funny business)"
  
  My question is what do YOU hope will happen? Maybe I can better guide you to get that.
  
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- Asker
  
  I just graduated from college and live with my grandmother (who won't be home). I was just hoping for cuddling or something, but the only time we've touched one another has been through goodbye hugs (I initiated the first on our third date) and the kiss.. which went awkwardly at first because I couldn't take the hint, but even then had limited physical contact. Five dates in three weeks, and no physical contact at all until the third date. No hand-holding or anything.
  
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- Asker
  
  It's my fault really- I think I make him nervous because I come off as aloof? But I'm only that way because I really like him and, well, I have most of the trademark characteristics of Asperger's. He's not overly confident himself, and I have trouble picking up on cues and being affectionate with people I can't get a read on (he's a bit reserved himself. I mean he had to actually TELL ME he was trying to kiss me before I took the hint, and then it was fine). It's a weird situation.
  
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- Basuru
  
  I'm like 90% sure you're in the clear. You sound like my girlfriend and I at our start. She invited me over and we sat separately until she got scared and instinctively grabbed my arm. Then we just cuddled and ate popcorn. After we sat and talked, compared iTunes libraries (mines in my phone) and ate ice cream.
  
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- Asker
  
  Ha, nice! :) Yes, I mean I don't think these movies are that scary, but he is the jumpy type. I was actually going to ask him if he wanted to go out and grab ice cream at my go-to place, and come to think of it, getting him to hold my pets (I have geckos and a scorpion) might be helpful in re-breaking the touch barrier as well.
  
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- Basuru
  
  That sounds like a perfect idea, except the scorpion. Might wanna make sure he's truly ok with that before you take it out. Good luck! I wish I could know how it goes!
  
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- Asker
  
  Awesome- thank you so much, I really appreciate it! :) I mean, he's held tarantulas before, so it isn't that big of a leap. The exact day isn't quite set in stone, but I'll let you know how it goes!
  
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- Asker
  
  Yeah, so it was a bit awkward at first. I could tell he was itching to hold my hand, but he didn't take it until we were well into the second movie. So, there's that. After the second (and last movie) was over, I asked him if there was anything he needed, and he said "No... well, there's one thing" and he pulled me over and kissed me. Needless to say, we made up for lost time and the ice is definitely broken now. We didn't have sex, but he almost stayed the night because I invited him to, but we both have things to do tomorrow. We're going to go fishing this week, and he invited me to stay over at his house because his mom is going to be away in a couple of weeks 3
  
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What Guys Said 1

guyintac

He'll probably show up with condoms. This sounds like a sex date. Not that you can't keep it from going that far of you want, but there's a definite suggestion there.

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- Asker
  
  I feel like it's too soon to even be thinking about it, to be honest-which is why I didn't even think if it when I asked him. I mean, in my last relationship we waited three months before having sex. If it happens it happens, but I won't do it for the sake of doing it- especially if we haven't talked about STDs or anything yet.
  
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- guyintac
  
  You're not stuck or anything. Inviting him over is a step forward though. Expect him to at least try to be more physical than before.
  
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- Asker
  
  That's what I'm aiming for.. lol. We just set up one more date at the movies near his hometown, so by the time he comes over it'll be seven dates. Yes, I think a step forward is due
  
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Anonymous · Accepted Answer · 2015-07-07T20:07:14Z

You should relax. You didn't do anything wrong. You invited him over in order to watch some movies together, you never indicated that you're going to allow something more to happen.
I don't think he will interpret it as "she wants to have sex with me". He will probably interpret it as "she wants to spend time with me". If he tries to progress and you are not willing to continue, just tell him.

I invited him for movies over at my place?

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