Should I Just Give Up On Dating?

I am really at my wits end with men. It seems like all I attract are guys that want to use me and lie. I tried dating someone new and it was someone I've known for a long time who went to my church when we were younger. He told me he has the biggest crush on me and he told me he was single, but then I seen on Facebook that he we out with his baby mom. I just dont get it. Why would he text me all day, get upset if I didn't get to his text right away only to be back with his baby mom again? Not to mention the guy I posted about before keeps blowing my phone up asking me for money. I dont get it. Why is it that I can't find a guy that actailly wants to be with me instead of playing games and hurting me? I feel like I should just give up on dating all together or start dating women or something. I really want a meaningful relationship with someone but it seems like for some reason thats not happening with me. All of the females in my family and my female friends are all in relationships talking about how happy they were and I haven't been in a relationship in 4 years since my son's dad and he doesn't even talk to me anymore unless its about out child. I really feel like I'm just not meant to be with a man or something. What is so wrong with me that guys dont like me? I work full time I go to school, I have my own car and money and take care of my child. I dont understand why?


Most Helpful Guy

  • There is really nothing wrong with quitting when it comes to relationships and dating. Well from my perspective anyway. If someone wants to challenge me on this fine, but it's pretty redundant since I've more or less given up on it myself. I hate those people who ALWAYS judge and give people that are NOT in relationships a hard time and expect every single person on the planet to conform to "their" way. And just because all the ladies in your family and social circle claim they are "happy" in their relationships I very much doubt it's 100%, I wouldn't even worry about them unless they started harassing you and giving you a hard time for not being in a successful relationship as you already have tried on so many occasions and so far nothing has turned out the way you expected or hope it would.

    That's just the reality of it. There are no guarantees of success or happiness when it comes to relationships, it may even work out great in the beginning and then things go complete downhill before you realized it. That can also happen for pretty much everything else too. Just do the best with what you can and what you have and go about your daily routines.

    Focus on other more important matters instead at this point. Since you are a mother now, I think it would be best to divert more focus, attention and resources on your child and so that he will grow and develop positively. Also since you are in school would it not be better to just focus on your education and career. Sometimes you just cannot have it all. If you have a successful career and your son grows up successful in school and have a successful career Because of You and what You Did then I think that's more than enough and all that really mattered.

    For relationships, if they work out, they work out, if not, then just prioritize something else you can get done or have a better chance of accomplishing. I know it hurts and all, but you just have to move forward and not dwell on it, or it will hurt more and more. I'm sure many people and not just you have been there already if not at least once in their entire lifetime.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Stop looking. Stop trying. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. You sound like you have it together in terms of your life. It takes a strong man to accept that and be comfortable with a beautiful woman who is managing just fine without a man. You WILL find someone, it just seems so difficult sometimes. Are you actually in a good position to meet them? I know i'm not but i think, if i was, i'd probably have someone by now. I think you will be just fine, be thankful that you have a good life, enjoy your child and everything else will fall into place, i promise.

    • I have been kissing frogs for 4 years. I'm so tired of being treated like crap while everyone I know is in a long term relationship or married. I feel like it's just not going to happen for me.

    • I feel the same, i can totally relate. I'm not looking for marriage though, in fact, before i was looking for something more long term, now i am unsure. Freedom is enjoyable. I truly believe that forcing it, just won't work. There's nothing to stop you using online sites, have you tried already? I have but you've got to keep an eye out for the weirdos!

    • I did online dating... never again... I met a guy off of Ok Cupid and he kept saying how he wanted to get to know me but the whole time he just wanted to hookup. Then when I refused to her called me an ugly bitch then stopped talking to me.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Don't lose hope girl!

    I don't wanna come off wrong here, but do you date non-black men?

    • I dated a white guy when I was in high school but he wanted to keep everything a secret because his friends were making fun of him. I was the only black person that went to that school. Never again.

    • Fair enough.

  • I feel the same about women. I'm now 31 and I've been single for nearly 12 years. After seeing years of women going for ass holes and rejecting good guys, I lost all hope and decided to remain single. The truth is, most men and women today are far too selfish and have been brainwashed by feminism and the media. It's a sad reality and I can't see it getting any better.


What Girls Said 2

  • you gotta keep trying or you'll end up alone and later wish you had somebody...
    maybe you are too nice and people take advantage of you. or maybe you have really high standards (not likely).
    maybe you're looking in the wrong places for men.

    • I feel like at this point I am going to be alone. I date all different types of guys and I still end up getting hurt or played or used.

  • Nothing wrong with you. Mannny girls run into the same problems. You just need to be patient and keep trying.


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