I have a history of going for guys that don't necessarily treat me well, but this boy is my first real relationship and I'm growing so close to him that I can hardly imagine a life without him. Why am I so paranoid that I'm not good enough for him? I consistently cry and believe that he deserves better, and that one day, he's going to look at me and not love me anymore. My heart knows this won't happen, but it feels like my mind is telling me otherwise. There are no faults in our relationships so far, everything is beyond perfect. What can I do to shrug off this feeling?
Most Helpful Guy
It's probably because of your previous relationships. Usually when people stay with someone that treats them badly, it's because they're made to believe they don't deserve any better. their self-confidence is undermined so they can be controlled.
Overcoming this takes time. You still have all these wrong associations with how relationships work from past experiences, but they will go away by simply experiencing what it's like to be in a healthy relationship.
Just make sure you don't try to repress your paranoid feelings or make yourself feel bad for having them. They're only natural after a difficult past. In the end paranoia is just another form of fear and overcoming fear means confronting yourself with it to see that there's nothing to be afraid of.