Should I give up with her? Or do I still have a chance?

Hello I have been reading these forums for a while and decided to seek out some advice as well. So please bare with me. Anyways to get to my point, I met this girl a couple months back and have been talking to her through text and email. I tried calling her but she ends up just texting back and such. I have been talking to her for a couple months now and I feel it is already time I should ask her out. Some signs I felt that she was interested in me was she gave me her number, invited me to one of her plays, introduced me to her friends and parents, and even went to lunch with me. Now the thing is recently she has kind of been ignoring me, like in text messages she won't reply right away, or not even reply at all. Also recently I asked her to have lunch with me so that I can finally ask her out on a date. The thing is she said maybe at first if she had time, then when the time came for the lunch date, she did not even bother to let me know that she couldn't make. I ended up asking if she was free that day to have lunch, and she just replied with a quick response saying she was busy and she was sorry. I would think she would make time to reschedule, but she did not even bother. I understand she is a busy person, but it just seems like to me she is not interested anymore. Should I let her contact me, or should I try contacting her again? Or Should I just give up? Thanks for the help. If any more info is needed I will provide them upon request.

Just wanted to say thank again to the two users who gave me feedback, on the situation I was in. I did finally give up on her, and even said my goodbye to her, in a short way. Now I have another question that I would appreciate feedback from. thanks again
I posted the question as a separate question from this.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Don't contact her. Leave it be. If she's interested, she'll be back in contact with you. If you feel you're the only one initiating contact then it's time to lay off. The fact that she couldn't be bothered to cancel/ postpone lunch shows that she's not considerate to you. Your time is just as valuable as hers. It should have been common courtesy to let you know in good time that she can't make it. Let this one go and like I said, if she is interested then she'll be in touch.

    • Thank you for the response. Although at one point I did try this, and she did not even bother to say a random hello. I ended up messaging her back at one point just to see what was going on, and at that point I was invited to her play. I am just going to give up on her, and like you said if she is interested she can make an effort to call, or message me. Just kind of disappointing, but you learn from mistakes I guess.

    • Good for you and please follow through with what you're saying. time and time again, I give advice for guys to let go and yet they still pursue the girl, only to be disappointed again because they excused her behaviour. the truth of the matter is when a girl is interested, you know. there are no doubts. it sucks to har the old cliche but it's true: there are PLENTY of fish in the sea.

What Guys Said 1

  • "I understand she is a busy person, but it just seems like to me she is not interested anymore."

    Sorry to say that you're right. Your gut feelings are spot on.

    "or should I try contacting her again? Or Should I just give up?"

    Give up. You didn't do anything wrong from what you wrote. Highly likely she found someone else suddenly. She didn't have the maturity to sit down, and give this brief episode a proper closure.

    With girls, if they are not (become not) interested in you, the more you "knock on the door" the more they become annoyed. You become a nuisance, like a fly, that's all. If they want you, they would go out of the way to pave ways for you to meet them. Players excluded that is, those are flirting and fishing just for "the excitement of reeling in the fish".

    In relationships, you sometimes have to go through a few brief ones to get the one you want (assuming you already had that figured out). It doesn't matter as long as you are on the right track. You're on the right track if the girls you are meeting are close, but not 100% spot on. Just make sure you don't swim off to the deep end of the pool (e.g. having sex in less than a month). That way, no one gets really hurt when either one party finds the other isn't suitable.

    Are those episodes/mini-heartbreaks/disappoointments worth it? Sure, you are getting to the girl YOU want (vice versa for her). No compromises. Look at how many are suffering day & night in the miserable mediocre relationships they're in, the high divorce rates. Guess what the price is for them, day & night? Would you trade their nightmares with those mini-disappointments of yours? No.

    • I also forgot to mention that when I met with the friends, I did not get a good vibe. So in my opinion, I think friends might have convinced her otherwise to just forget about me and move on, even though I did not do anything wrong except try to be friendly, and ask her out. But I completely understand what you said. Even if she is a shy person, or something close to that, I do not feel I should have been toyed around like that, or maybe I just did not see things clearly. But anyways thank you.

    • 1. No, you shouldn't be toyed around like that.

      2. The gift in this experience. Do you notice how good your gut feelings are? I totally agree with your gut feel on her friends' bit. Your discovery/confirmation of how good, and accurate your gut feels are, is the golden seed/gift here. Exercise them like learning how to ride a bike. Guess how sharp you will be in your next encounter? if you are good, you don't even need her to open her mouth to tell if she is the one you want (vice versa). :)

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