I would like some advice about boundaries and kissing?

OK. So I have been hanging out with this guy I met about three weeks ago.. We have gradually been spending more and more time together, until now we are seeing each other every day.

We were walking home from the library alone the other night.

{We usually go with a bunch of friends, but they seemed to have vanished. As for us we walked and talked all was normal. I reached my house midnight and as I was turning to go I very lightly touched his sweater just as a goodbye.

He swung me around & I guess my mouth was open cause I was so shocked and I was about to say something, next thing I know he was kissing me like really passionately, I was so surprised I don't think I even registered what was going on till he stopped.

He did not give me any warning what so ever. Not even look into my eyes so I could get a clue... I have never kissed anyone before - I know I'm a bit old for a first kiss, but I am too picky for a bad one. He also was holding my waist and I think I sort of pulled back initially cause I was surprised, you know like instinct. I noticed that if REALLY wanted out I would have had to use some force... I do not think he d to force me, probably just nervous. What bothers me is that it did not occur to him that I may not want to and his little experiment could get in the way of being friends...

So it was late, we were alone, we were NOT on a date, he did not know if I wanted to kiss him as I was facing the opposite direction He did not give me any warning, and I have never kissed anyone before but he did not bother to find out, He held me really tight so I am not sure how much was nervousness & how much was aggression.

I really liked him before this, but I really resent being put in a situation of even having to question his integrity and inversely my

competency- or there lack of- in handling the situation.

What do you think? Was it inappropriate? Should I be mad?

Should I stop hanging out with him?

Or any thoughts & or insight that you mat have on the matter.

Thank You.

BTW I'm 19.

{He wants to get to know me - - What does that mean- is that euphemism for sex, cause if it is I'm out . {Not that I'm in... But I will not even be potentially in.}

Artist Boy:You know just look into my eyes fro a moment or something just so I know what's up It was kind of a very intense kiss, and we were not out on a date or anything. {I did not get your comment about romance without sexuality - - How
Is that even possible- In am really interested to know this {Not sarcastic} Do you mean cause we are young Anyways like I said I pulled away Not on purpose just reflex, but he would not have known that right away, and I could feel him holding me -
I am very spontaneous & free spirited IN things but I do not jump in easily... Thanks for your help, hope I did not write your ear off... If is too much overall to respond to, at least tell me how a very passionate kiss, can be romantic & not sexual?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Your overanalyzing the situation. He could interpet that you were nervous and needed a quick push. He didn't necessarily force himself on you, he simply "pulled you in" for a quick kiss- that lead to passionate romance (non-sexually).

    Where's the downfall? You said that you were looking for a good first kiss, which it was- no?

    P.s. Being that your 19 - it would be childish to be angry; afterall, it was only a kiss. BUT on the other hand, respect plays a huge part in relationships.

    If you would like to get angry - where did you give him signs of not liking it and that it was disrespectful? I'm looking for things like:

    - You pulled away with that "Aw! you asshole!" facial expression

    - You slapped him

    - You ran inside crying


    Best regards,


    • P.s. it's kinda stupid to mention, but you know he likes you right?

    • Show All
    • If he were to have "tried" anything more - then it would become sexual and forceful, which is completely inappropriate for the given situation; however, he DID NOT do those things, which is a great sign.

      The sense of security is for both of you - it's part of passion. When he pulled you in tight, he felt like you were his, and vice-versa (as much as it alarmed you). It's merely a securing feeling when someone has such a desire to "reel you in" away from other people in this world.

    • And lastly, thank you for your compliments =)

      They are truthfully appreciated which sometimes makes me smile. On occasion we all have bad days and so the compliments, I've found, help me alot.

      P.s. if you have other questions feel free to add me and/or message me.

      Best regards,


What Girls Said 1

  • sounds like he liiikes you... he probably planned the whole thing, worked up the nerve to kiss you... I would say that he shouldnt have held you so tightly, so you could escape if you wanted to... bad move on his part... but I wouldn't start questioning his motives, one kiss is innocent enough.

    I think he actually wants to get to know you more... and he meant like, in a romantic way. He wants to go on a date with you probably. If you like him, great... if you're not looking for that from him or anyone right now, tell him straight up.

    Good luck.

    • Thanks. I agree I think everything was sweet I just think that he should have had more faith, I mean it is not like he had to hold me against me leaving, If I want to leave I should be able to............ I am hoping he held me tight without realizing it, like reflex.

      Otherwise it is a little freaky.

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