My friend with benefits off to army? Should I move on?

2 months ago I met this amazing guy from work. He and I became very close friends very quickly because we share almost everything in common and have very similar and compatable personalities. We also became very physically attracted to each other. We hangout almost every other day now, and we never stop talking to each other. We have fallen for each other pretty hard, but now he is leaving for basic training for the army and then will be across the country from me for almost 3 years.
At first he wouldn't let any sort of beyond friend relations happen because he didn't want to get attached to anyone before he went away. I eventually put my foot down saying either we become more than friends or I would move on. We then started a relationship, that I would say we're boyfriend and girlfriend because that's the dynamic (we've met each other's parents, etc) but he refuses to call it that. He says he doesn't want to promise me anything when he's away, but he wants me to stay in contact and still be there when he gets back.
we both feel so strongly about each other and I don't understand why he keeps pushing me off like this but constantly wants more and more of me. tWhat do I do? Move on and see other people when he leaves next week? Or wait around for him and support him as he likes? I would love to support him but I don't want to feel like I'm waiting around for someone who doesn't want the same back to me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Move onnnnnnnnnnnnm!!! Or you'll get hurt after waiting for him 😶


Most Helpful Girl

  • You both Have this magnificent, magical relationship it seems. Even though he is scared of slapping a Real Title, Actions have spoken much louder volumes than words can even describe, @Horsemylife, and he Has... Tried, giving it his all time Best.
    You have the start of something special that you both have Nursed and Nurtured thus far. And with Skype to be your best friend when Anyone is away, may help in Keeping the fires alive until you both shall meet again.
    I am very familiar with your sticky situation and it takes two special people to Have and to Uphold a LDR, even when parting may be such sweet sorrow until we Meet... Hopefully tomorrow.
    It is all in God's hands, as you know, but with having 'Come this far' and Worked this hard, why throw in the towel now? You each have put a lot of time into this relationship, which is more than in between the sheets, no doubt in my mind.
    Sit down and have another open lines of convo about laying some ground rules, for it's been done even on your own part, which has gotten you 'This far,' and then talk it over what to Do and Not to Do so you can get on the same page, stay in touch, and just Let... Love find its way on any given day.
    Good luck. xx


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Move on and do your own thing Hun. It sounds to me like he wants to do whatever he wants to do and he wants you to just sit back and take it... Of coarse he wants you to be there when he gets back of coarse he wants to still keep in touch, but he isn't willing to put in the effort for your sake of mental stability and to make you feel special and know that even though he's miles away he still wants you and thinks of you. Sound s to me like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Find you a man that wants and deserves you sweetie because he's a boy, still playing games trying to figure out what he wants. And don't worry, if it's meant to be it will be. If he's smart he will realize what he had and not give it up for the world. Im assuming you both are still you considering he is leaving for BCT. Good luck!