Conflicting emotions. Has anyone had this happen?

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now and this is the first serious relationship for both of us (we are seniors in highschool). Over the past week I have felt a strong urge to break up and "explore other options" (meaning date other girls). This and a feeling that she isn't the one fore me have been constantly on my mind, but I also get random feelings of love for her. I tried shutting out my emotions since they are clearly screwed up right now, and use logic, but logically nothing should be wrong. She's a kind, beautiful, funny girl that is madly in love with me. The only things I can think of that might cause this is that since I only have one more year left and I am going into the Army as soon as I graduate, I am preparing myself for a new life. I heard that a major change such as this can unconsciously cause relationship stress. Another is that she has never fully been my prefered type, physically or mentally. I was an idiot and broke up with her for about 10 minutes before calling it off and apologizing. I have talked to her about how I don't feel the same about her (she still gets butterflies, I don't) and we agreed to try to work this out if possible and not give up yet. It's been two days since then and I still feel completely confused. I plan on giving it until school starts (in a month) to decide if we should break up for good, but I don't know if I can last that long unless it does get better. I also have the annoying guilt factor that is constantly bothering me as well, plus I am her commanding officer in JROTC (highschool military class) so we would still see each other everyday. I know she is mature enough to still follow my orders as a commander if we were to break up (we promised our predicessors that we would not let the relationship get in the way), but it would still be painful. I am confused and I don't know what I should do. One second I want to break up, the next I consider that I still love her and feel guilty. Please help!


Most Helpful Girl

  • You aren't happy, this is clear. Perhaps you should take time for yourself and find what you are searching for. Don't play around with both of your hearts, give yourselves a break.

    • Thank you for the advice! I haven't thought of that yet. I will consider doing it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Make up your mind about how you truly feel.. considering if she's willing to be with you once you leave to the army... long distance relationships are hard but if you truly love her things will work out.. you have to trust yourself in making the right decision.. but from my opinion this poor girl has gone through enough don't make her go through anymore heart break .. two years definitely leaves some sort of mark.

  • It sounds like you're really not happy anymore and it's more your loss than hers. But if you feel it's right then do it, it's your life. I just think it's a sad thing that your mind can change like that but you're right you have one year left...

    • Thanks for the advice! We were originally planning on deciding whether we should continue dating after highschool since I can be stationed anywhere in the world and she is going into the medical field, but this random loss of attraction has caught us both by surprise.

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