It just seem woman older then 21 have kids , been in bad relationships, other issues, commitment, why is this is ther any normal, smart, classy female looking for a great guy for a ltr?
Most Helpful Girl
Baggage usually refers to:
• Legal Issues
• Surviving Abuse
Any of these three things can interfere with freely committing to a new relationship as they are taxing on her emotions and mental state more than anything. To worry about any of them requires her attention at all times. Children are going to be a lifelong commitment to her, but eventually will give her more time to focus on a relationship as the children grow. Legal issues eventually clear up. But abuse is something that can take a long time to recover from, and depending on the severity of it, her ability to trust may always affect her.
But you included some things in your baggage list that people commonly have that don't have children, legal issues, or surviving abuse go through. These are things that just happens called life, giving us all experiences so that we know how to take on new relationships and grow from.
For example, bad relationships. I think if you ask any 13 year old, they are going to consider a crush they had in the fifth grade who broke their heart still affects them in their own adolescent way. They don't understand more mature, sexual relationships that exhaust our emotions in so many ways. But nonetheless, the damage is there, no matter how small someone else sees it. To them, this is our version of a 'bad relationship'. So my point is, we ALL have bad relationship experiences. All of us. No one gets away with not experiencing a rotten experience with another human being unless they've lived under a rock until now. We attempt to soldier on and find decent people in our lives so we can be happy with our choices. Some people work out, some don't, I don't care if it's friendships or romantic relationships. We all are experiencing something good and bad as we go along in life. Why fault a potential mate for the same things we all go through?
The other was commitment. People everywhere now are plain cautious. This is such an unpredictable world, and giving up too much can cause some damage with just one person. Even social media damage and the use of electronic communication is too easy when people want to ruin lives. To be wary of the world now is smart. But this is before people get to know one another and slowly start to build trust. This is normal and I doubt you're going to meet intelligent women who are quick to commit knowing what's good for them.
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