Men do you ever do things to try and make a girl break up with you so you don't have to breakup with them?

I know younger guys do. Not making this a poll because I want to see the age representation. The guy I've been dating for a couple of months invited me to go boating with him today last week. This was the first time I was going to meet any of his friends.

Maybe he forgot. But either way this morning he leaves my house the moment I wake up to 'let me sleep' and hopped on the boat without me. He has two vehicles at my house and lives uptown so I told him I'd pick him up in a little while and he said he'd get it later. I put his stuff in the bed of his pick up and texted him that I had done so and to enjoy boating. He responded thanks there will be other boat outings and there weren't enough seats for me. Obviously I told him I'm not going to see him anymore.

I can't help but wonder if that was the desired response. If there wasn't a seat for me and I cleared my Sinday tell me, or better yet, don't go. Men do you sometimes think you have to be cruel to be kind?


Most Helpful Girl

  • guys actually do this quite a lot.

    • I thought t stopped once they reached 30 or so. I know I'm better off without him. It doesn't save me any pain only him the convenience. This one seemed different. I just wish they would be more upfront. He did a total 180 over the course of the weekend after meeting my family who went out of the way to seem off their rockers. My older relatives think if a SO can't put up with a little crazy you don't need them in your life.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yes. It depends on the girl, whether she is mature enough for the truth or whether she'd be happier thinking she dumped me and making me the bad guy. I'm glad to be the bad guy if it makes her happier.

    • It hurts just as much or more to do the dumping of a, "bad guy". Women aren't stupid. It can make you question your judgement of he is putting on an act and just lost interest. We rather hear things were good then they weren't then think we were getting played all along...

      I hope that makes sense. Before 'I love you' is exchanged I have low to tentative expectations at best but I do expect to be treated like a person. Blowing a woman off to get her to dump you is shitty and leaves no closure. Most relationships end at some point even if you are married. "When you decide to not to see them again, remember you are a moment in their story. Make it a story that does not leave a scar".

      I've broken up with lots of people or called it quits early. I do t give them the nitty gritty but I let them know it was good to a certain point but is t anymore and by that time it is t for either of us. It is messy in that moment, I've seen plenty of men cry even when they know it is right.

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    • Let me give you an example. I dated this girl for a while, she was a virgin and wasn't sure whether she wanted a physical relationship before marriage so before things got too far along I told her I though too differently about sex for us to be compatible. To me it was just a physical thing, something you do with someone you are attracted to but not something sacred or profound. So we broke up.

      Her older sister, who was definitely not a virgin, then starts being very interested in me. So much so that at a party she basically jumps me and tries to start giving me a blowjob. I liked her too but she was a bit too wild and screwy. I kind of got pulled in against my better judgement and on couple another occasions I showed her a very good time. Apparently her previous experience was not very capable. This completely turned her head and I was getting deeper in with someone who was obviously unsuitable and who had changed her view of me from someone to party with to husband material.

    • The truth would not have suited the situation very well at all. It was complicated for one thing by my previously dating her sister and like I said we just wouldn't have made a happy husband and wife however good our sex was. So I put on my asshole hat, let her get pissed off at me and got myself rejected. She wasn't happy but she was a lot happier than the truth would have made her. It was better for her to think I was an asshole who was good in bed than that I was the man of her dreams who didn't want her.

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