What should I do? Should I be patient & wait or fight for him?

hello! this is a question for both christians & non-christians so don't hesitate to answer :-) my boyfriend and i have been dating for a year, but he recently broke up with me because he wants to do missions work for a year and doesn't want to hold me back while i'm at school (but i wouldn't feel held back if we stayed together, i only have eyes for him)... he says that right now, he feels that God is testing him by telling him that right now, we are not supposed to be together. he says that he thinks God wants us to focus on our own studies and develop independently, just so that no one is 'influenced' by the other career wise... i want to be a teacher and would be okay working as a teacher on a missions field anywhere in the world, as long as it's with him. i know i sound naive and young, but i really feel like God is telling me that he's the man for me. we're both 19! but he also thinks that just as we're not supposed to be together right now, he feels that it's not the end for us and that we're supposed to come back together once we're both established... as much as i respect this reasoning (i'm a christian too) i'm tempted to just continue seeing him - God hasn't told me that we're not supposed to be together, i've actually been getting opposite messages... i truly feel he's the one!
to be honest, him and i have still been seeing eachother and we broke up a month ago. at first it was casual, like 'friends', but now we're back to what we did when we were dating (like kissing, holding hands, cuddling, telling eachother we love eachother) and i just don't know what to do! i don't want to give up and just let him walk away from this, but at the same time i want to respect what he feels God is telling him. any opinions on what i should do? we dated 2 years and it's hard because he still wants to see eachother as 'friends', but he knows that it's hard to go back to JUST friends... and when i tell him that we can't see eachother at all, he gets very upset. HELP :( i love him!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Leave it in the Lord's hands, and if it is Meant to be it will be, Trust me. HE will guide you both and be the decision maker, not you nor the One whom you feel is 'Truly the one,' it is God who will decide if you are meant to spend eternity with one another.
    You will get signs when you least expect it so just let time and the Lord do His work and His wonders.
    Be friends for now, nurse and nurture what you have had for a year and Respect his wishes, this is what he wants and feels is best for now. If you find you cannot do This, then let Go and let God... Follow you in another direction.
    Good luck and blessings. xx

    • Thank you, sweetie, for allowing me to share and care.:)) xxoo

    • Thank YOU for your comment! Seriously the most positive and uplifting comments I've received ❤️ God knows what's best and it's true, I know in my heart I just have to trust in Him and do the best that I can do while maintaining a friendship with him. Thanks again, lovely! God Bless you xo

    • Oh, so welcome and thank you so much for the beautiful Comments as well... I always leave it in God's hands because HE has never failed me and knows what is best for me, like I know HE will for you... Amazing way to start my day is when you just made mine, sweetie.. Bless you as well.:)) xxoo

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Christian here too but I think he's full of shit. For such a super Christian as he likes to portray he should know that God doesn't tempt or test only Satan does. I think he wants to broaden his horizon girl wise

    • that's what some people have told me and i understand that, I don't know maybe i'm naive but he always talks about how in love with me he is and how he would like to marry me someday. we're best friends and we think we're soulmates, so it's not like i mean nothing to him. he's had girls try to come onto him but he's never hesitated to set them straight. like i can't describe how amazing we are together, which is why i don't think he wants to see other girls - he wants to leave for a year and a half long mission trip in the winter and live in poverty to really understand what they need in their areas. maybe i'm in denial, but he thinks God is trying to see how serious he is about missions work. anyway, i may sound silly but i am 110% sure that he doesn't want to be with other girls... if he did, he would've been by now, as we've been broken up for a month, you know? i don't know, it's just really hard

    • Again God doesn't do those things and if he thinks he does then he doesn't know shit about the bible. Dump his ass

What Girls Said 3

  • not a christian, but if it meant to be, it meant to be. everything in this world already planned and have it's own path. you'll find your way eventually, yes there's several test and hardness in between, but have both effort and faith, you'll find your way. ;)

    you can listen to this song - Insha Allah by Maher Zain.

    • Thanks so much for your comment, I really appreciated your answer... it's true, "if it's meant to be, it will be" and I believe that... I'll take a listen to the song! Thank you :)

  • God doesn't want you to be with a man who is trying to break up with you. Let this man go and if he comes back it was meant to be.

    • what if he's only trying to break up because he feels that God is telling him to RIGHT NOW? and what if he doesn't actually want to break up, but doesn't want to disobey God? it's just hard to let him go, he's my best friend and i don't know what i'll do when he leaves for a year and a half...

  • So it's GOD'S WILL that he uses you in his timing? lmao... bich, come again! Almost had me there for like 3/4 of a second but my brain kicked in and I was like WTF? LOL... go home.

    • so i take it that you disagree with him then? hahaha

    • just a little bit!

    • LOL same... thanks for your support, girl! it's super hard for me right now

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