Which comes first? Behaving like a couple or becoming a couple?

This girl and I have known each other for close to 3 weeks. We had met online. From the get-go, we fell for each other's personality. As we started asking each other out, we got less stressed and nervous. We've gone out twice now (don't judge the frequency haha, we were comfortable with this).

We're still pretty nervous over the idea of when we would start holding hands. She said "next time" when I first asked her 2 weeks ago on our first meet-up. But yet it seems like a very major thing when I innocently asked "When's our zeroth anniversary" and she answered "When we start holding hands :p". So it's like... handholding = gf?

So the question now is, when should I ask her to be my girlfriend officially? Should I wait until we started behaving like a couple (e. g. flirting, PDA) before I pop the question? I'm really confused about how to put her at ease and take a step forward..

  • Behaving like a couple before the label!
    Vote A
  • Label before becoming a couple!
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Girl

  • Label first.

    • Could you elaborate on why label should be first? :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't label anything, let her come to you.

    As her attraction grows she's gonna become more and more affectionate.

    You're going too fast. At least on two occasions she showed you that you're going too fast, which also means she isn't yet as attracted to you as you are to her. (First when you asked about holding hands, then second when you talked about the zeroth anniversary).

    This is not good man. If you keep trying to push things logically this way, she'll soon tell you directly that this is indeed "going too fast" and that she wants to take things slow.

    If you really want to be the one to label the relation first, wait about until de 20th date to try and do so.

    • I'll add a bit of my personal story to show you how deceiving PDA can be, and why you'd be better off letting her bring the subject on the table. I'll try and make it short.
      Met a girl, went on a few dates. On the 5th she took the initiative to hold hands. On the 6th she invited herself to my place, seemed affectionate enough, which I mistakenly took as it becoming serious. I did the mistake I'm trying to make you avoid and talked about exclusivity. Result : she got cold, and told me she was almost in a relationship with another guy who lived abroad. Two (cold) dates later she tried to break things with me and be just friends. Which I didn't accept as a rule. So I kind of stepped up "my game" a bit, and managed to keep going on 4 more dates with her, during which she got even more affectionate than before I screwed up by talking about exclusivity. 3 dates later, during which she was incredibly affectionate, even possessive, I asked her if she was my girlfriend.

    • Show All
    • Yes that's my advice

    • Alright, great, thanks! :)

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

What Guys Said 1

  • You can't become a couple without behaving like one first.

    • That is true too haha. It was just that some girls may want to not do some stuff because "we're not official yet".

Recommended myTakes