so Im mentally not ready for a reltionship even tho i really want to mee the right guy. But whenver i meet a guy it ends very quickly-
I belive i have high expectations towards guys and in dating in general. I think the reason for this is my inexperience, i haven't seriously dated anyone and neither did any of my friends growing up, so everything i know about dating is dating that happend in movies and tv-shows.
I guess i "expect" it to happen fast and smooth, i expect us to like eacother from the get go, the first dates goe and great and before i know it we are in a perfectly happy relationship. But when i meet guys and reliase they aren't like my "dream man" i lose interest. To be honest i think its a self macanism of some sort because if the guy isn't "perfect" that means we need to work for it to happen. I have to overlook that he doesn't like the same things as me, or the fact that he likes dogs better then cats for exmaple.
You could say i expect guys to me "perfect"(even though i know perfect doesn't exsist). but i dont get why i even expect that because i know im not perfect, at all. I dont consider myself super hot or super interesting, so it make no sense that i want a "perfct guy". I have a lot of issues and i know that its very rarely the guy that does anything wrong.. its 99% my fault in terms of judging the guy based on very shallow things.
I dont know how to stop doing this.. help?
Most Helpful Guy
first of all u shuld realize movies and tv-shows r fake :p
anyway... if u keep on chasin da "perfect guy"... u'll always fail... u know y? coz "perfect" doesn't xist! u even said it by yerself ;)
so best u can do's lower yer standards in my opinion... and stop judgin every little things he'd do u might consider bad... of course i'm not tellin u to date some guy who's crap accordin to u... but someone like 7-8/10 at least ;)2
Most Helpful Girl
Your viewpoint on men and the dating process is entirely unrealistic as well as unfair and inconsiderate to the unique timeline of various different individual's lives.
Having standards is a good thing: having expectations is not. Having expectations means that you will be dismissive, ungrateful, and unappreciative for the positive attributes someone does possess. It also means that you won't be patient and understanding when and if they stumble through the relationship/dating process. You need to get more realistic about the human condition. You also need to HUMBLY ACCEPT that men were not put on this planet to please and impress you. They have greater purposes to fulfill besides meeting the requirements of your picky expectations. You're not entitled for the male gender to bend over backwards and commit their personalities towards fitting in this small-minded little box you've constructed for your idea of how a relationship should play out. Accept that we are all human beings with flaws and your mentality will lead you to nothing but a lonely feature with 50 cats.0
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