Guys, How long should I wait for him to contact me?

I've been seeing this guy for two months. A week ago today we had our normal everyday conversation. On Saturday he didn't text me that morning so I text him. After talking for less than an hour he text and said he and his daughter were going to get something to eat and he would text me later. After hours of no text from him... I text him. The conversation was weird and I could tell something was wrong. He made no effort to see me that weekend, I had plans with friends on Saturday evening, and so did he, but I was free the rest of the time. On Monday he finally talked enough to tell me his grandmother was sick and not going to make it. He text on Tuesday and said "I know I haven't been talking much but I couldn't go without telling you happy b-day". On Wednesday I text and told him I felt like he wasn't being honest with me and he text back and told me to stop worrying and that his grandmother passed. I know this is true because his mother shared the obituary on his fb.

We were supposed to go out of town this weekend but the funeral is this weekend so that's a no go.

My question is how long should I give him before I move on? We had such a connection and so much fun together I don't know what went wrong. He won't talk to me on the phone anymore and we had talked everyday. Should I go to his work after he gets off so he will have to talk to me in person? I hate the games and texting! I don't think he is seeing someone else but I could be wrong. What should I do? :(

This isn't every detail but I hope it's enough information.
Well he seems to be handling his grandmothers passing well considering he is posting pics of him and his niece on Facebook smiling and looking happy. I tried to text yesterday and just ask is he was okay (no response) then I tried to call him last night (after not contacting for several days) and he sent me to voicemail after a couple of rings. I've decided to go by his work after he gets off tonight 1) to check on him and 2) get closure for myself.
I've been through losing people close to me and though people handle loss different I think this is just an excuse. I deserve better and he needs to man up and talk. It's not hard to send a text and say I'm okay I just need time. It will go good or bad tonight but I'm telling him I was just worried about him. I'll update later. Any ideas on what I should say tonight?
So I eventually went to his work but he wasn't there. When I text and called he turned his phone off on me. After I messaged him and said what I needed to say I moved on. Last night he messaged me on Facebook and sincerely apologized. He said that after his 5+ years of marriage failing he got scared when he started getting comfortable with me. He said he thought the best thing was to run away. He said he thought he was stupid because he couldnt realize that someone could care for him so much...
. He said that he enjoyed every minute with me and that it wasn't anything I had done and that he was sorry for being a dick to me. He said you're a great person and I'm sorry. So my question now is... did he message me in the hopes of talking to me again and seeing if I would forgive him? I told him I understood because I got scared to but that I was willing to trust him. He says he's scared to try again for fear of being let down. After we messaged back and forth a couple of times he said he


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you're available, you should offer to attend the funeral with him. He might decline, but at least you offered and he'll know. As for his behavior, it isn't something to be alarmed about. Guy's also hate texting and though we are texting someone we like, we still hate texting. Make sure you give him some space, because I feel like, from what you've said, you contact him quite often. Now it's his turn to take the reigns. Don't text him for at least a week giving him plenty of time to message you first. It's important for a person to mourn for someone they love, but there is a limit on how destroyed a person is. They address bereavement as a three day period to mourn those family members who have passed on. I'm suggesting you give him a week from after the funeral to give him plenty of space so he doesn't feel pressure from you always messaging you. If he cares, he'll message you and make plans to meet up. Keep in mind, this is a tough time for him, but that doesn't mean your relationship should take the fall because he is only focused on one person. I hope I'm not sounding completely heartless here. I once flew to Japan for my ex-girlfriend's grandmother who had passed on. People need support and if he's pushing you away, this isn't a good thing.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Well he just lost a family member and is depressed. And he has kids so he had to explain to them and comfort them. What I would do is tell him that your there for him and support him if he needs anything. Make your self available but don't seem like your clinging on to every chance you can talk. Yeah I hate texting and phone calls. The next best thing is skyping if you really can't meet. It's the next best thing to face to face

  • Text him one more time and say hey if interested in getting to know me let me know cause I'm serious about meeting a guy ,

  • wait for a week. if no contact move on.


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