Apologizing to an ex from 4 years ago... bad idea?

I was really controlled by my mother at that time in my life and listened to her when she said to just ignore him and not offer him any closure/communication, even though he did cheat on me. I did just that and changed my relationship status to single because I was so hurt. Now, that I'm older, I see where what I did was very immature and hurtful, even if he did cheat on me and say horrible things behind my back when I was a good girl. I just wanted to shoot him a short, concise message in which I apologized for leaving him hanging like that, even if I was hurt, and that I sincerely wish him the best in the future and that I'm happy for him.

Is that so bad? Is it a bad idea? Should I just let it go?


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What Guys Said 2

  • It may help you if you are feeling guilty about the breakup, but will it help him? It is possible that he has someone else in his life who may be jealous if he has contact from an ex. Is there a problem now that doing this will fix?

    • I just wanted to apologize for how I acted because it's the one relationship in which I feel at fault for my actions. He has a girlfriend, but that's why I was going to wish him the best and say I was happy for him.

    • What do you hope to accomplish by doing that?

    • Feeling like I did the right thing and actually apologizing for doing that to him because I realize how traumatizing being ignored can be and I hate that I did that to someone.

  • If you feel like apologizing just do it, but don't expect him to take you back.
    Just let him know that you feel bad for what happened, and that you don't need him to accept it or whatever.. he can do whatever he wants with the apology. You just wanted it off your chest

    • I don't want him back. He wasn't the best boyfriend and it ended for a reason. I just feel at fault for my actions in that relationship and feel I should apologize, but I think saying he can do whatever he wants with it is a good idea.

    • :P just wrote down 'an answer' here ^^

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