What Exactly is a Boyfriend's Job in the Relationship?

I hear so much from my dad, older sister and other girls with dating issues about the role a boyfriend has that I'm supposed to expect.
1) He's supposed to give you money.
2) He's supposed to help pay your bills.
3) He's supposed to text/call you first everyday.
4) He's supposed to like your posts/pictures on social media.
... and if he doesn't do any of this, he's supposedly "not the right one for you". Is this true? And what are some other things guys are "supposed" to do in a relationship?
I really wanted to thank everyone who gave their good opinions for my question. I truly, honestly appreciate knowing I'm not wrong in how i felt about this situation. I love you all (especially the guys) for being patient enough to correct this crazy way of thinking and for explaining how it REALLY should be. I hope my fellow females were taking notes. I love u all ^~^
*i hope my fellow females (the ones who think like my dad, older sister and my pathetic classmates) that think she's entitled to men doing everything for her*, i hope y'all taking notes.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think there's anything wrong with that, for as long as she:

    1. Has sex exactly the way I want her to,
    2. Has sex exactly when I want her to,
    3. Is physically fit because she spends all her time in the gym and dieting,
    4. Dresses and acts sexy, grooms and otherwise takes care of her appearance.

    Sure, we could totally have that kind of relationship, and give and take. Now, if it's just a give-give-give... or the compromise is constantly coming from my end where I'm always living with not getting anywhere close to 90% of what I want from her, yet the only person complaining outwardly or passive aggressively is her towards me for not getting 100% of what she wants, then she can go hop back on daddy's lap as she uses her girlfriends as emotional tampons.

    • Wow. I like that. Ur right. It should definitely be a win-win for both parties.

Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. No I don't expect him to give me money. I AM NOT HANDICAPPED AND I CAN EARN FOR MYSELF.
    2. No I can pay bills for the things I use. I DON'T WANT TO ENJOY LUXURY ON EXPENSES OF A MAN.
    3. No, he is not supposed to text/call first everyday. I CAN DO IT SOMETIMES TOO. HE WOULD LOVE IT. IT ALL COMES TO LOVE AND CARE IN RELATIONSHIP.

    I am so sorry for a lot of capital letters...

    • Lol girl no, u were feeling the moment! I wasn't going to stop you from preaching Lmbo. Rock on!

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    • Lol XD yeah i wasn't going to stop you. People need to be properly educated on this. Thank u for helping me :p and for proving not all females think they're entitled

    • Obviously they need to...
      Specifically for 1 and 2, a guy would/should provide all these only if his woman cooks, clean and washes after him and provides him with desired sex. How can we expect our men to give us money if we don't provide him our ultimate devotion... its fucking costly world!!

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What Guys Said 20

  • Load of rubbish!! If you are serious with a guy, especially living with him, it's not his money, her money. It's our money.

    You share the bills, according to how much each of you earns.

    Text or call when you want, doesn't matter who goes first.

    Don't bother with liking on social media. You boyfriend will know you do. Likes are all for the benefit of other people.

    There are no hard and fast rules. Do whatever suits the two of you!!

  • All 4 of those are bullshit reasons
    Those aren't his jobs
    Paying bills and earning money are you responsibility
    Texting you first everyday is nice but certain people just don't do that
    Also social media is a joke. And causes so many extra bull shit problems in a relationship

    The 4 jobs should be
    Shows you love and affection
    Makes you feel secure
    Supports your choices
    Respects you

    Anything after that is just a plus!

    • Thank you for explaining that.
      That part about social media is so true, what u said. People are allowing it to ruin their relationships and their way of thinking. It's all crazy bs

  • There are things that men can do better, and there are things that women can do better. Lets appreciate the difference between men and women.
    Rather than seeing it as jobs, see it as what each gender can bring into the relationship. like a pot luck.

  • 1) and 2) He is not your bank account get you're own job
    3) No not everyday and not necessarily first
    4) Not mandatory, he is not your ego boost
    He is not there to take care of you, that is YOUR JOB

    What is his purpose?
    The same as yours, you both are there to enjoy each others company and later have sex.

  • Every one of those points is utterly offensive.

    I would ask if that's the guy's job to do all this crap, then what does the girl do in the relationship? To call him weak for doing a meager 99% of the work and forcing her to lift a finger? Pfff.

    I find it so annoying when girls have a problem with texting first, yet I try to tolerate their silly insecurity about it. But when you make it a rule it makes girls look so pathetic, like I need to send her a text first everyday as a routine just so she can feel comfortable talking to me? That's complete bull. I would leave.

    Or maybe I should stay and ask them to do the same things for me instead, we'll see if they can come up with a reason why they shouldn't do those things for me.

    The only thing a guy is "supposed to do" is provide for his pregnant partner and make her the happiest person in the world. If she's not with child and doesn't have an infant hanging of her tit then she's an independent lady and she has the same job as the guy, it's a partnership.

    Unless you're one of those religious or traditionalist types then think about gay men and women and then ask "what is the boyfriend's/girlfriend's job?" and suddenly you realise how dumb these peoples' ideas about the boyfriend role are.

  • Being a boyfriend is not a job
    1) what happened to feminsm here where are all the "independent strong" women at the time when a man whips out his credit card to pay?-crickets- though so

    I'm not a bank she can get her own damn job.

    2) see point one

    3) I agree he's supposed to give you attention and company but you should text and call first sometimes too.

    4) well if he was a psycho with no life maybe.

  • 1 and 2 is just lol if the girl expected me to do that I would send her this 😂😭

  • I have no problem buying gifts or paying for things for a girl, her believing I am "suppose" to do these things however is very much diffrent. I do those things to show I care if she only sees it as a job that I am fullfilling then why the hell would I be in a relationship with her? Thats entitlement at its best. I also think she is suppose to be doing something for me as well thats generally how relationships work. I'm not a paycheck. That is really bad advice. I don't think you should necessarily discourage a guy from doing it so much as be incredibly appreciative of a guy doing it for you.

    • When my boyfriend does something for me (such as pay my phone bill), i always make sure he knows that I'm very much appreciative because i know very well that it's his way of showing me he's "down for me" (his words)

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    • Thanks for listening :)

    • Not a problem at all :)

  • 1) He's not supposed to give you money since you have the right (the obligation) to work.

    2) Same as answer for 1)

    3) I'm going to enjoy listening to any retards attempting to justify this point.

    4) Some people don't give a shit about petty social media. Doesn't stop them from being great men.

    A man is supposed to respect you, make others respect you, protect you, help you, be loyal, keep his words, make you feel desirable / beautiful, and essentially make you happy AS LONG AS you also do your part of course.

    Your part is to provide an environment that both enables him to recover, and where he feels needed and useful.

    • I really like that and i absolutely agree with you. It's too bad my family and classmates aren't reading this. I was starting to feel abnormal because i didn't feel comfortable with the thought of my boyfriend doing EVERYTHING for me as if he's my slave and I'm entitled to it. I hate that way of thinking! I don't know how that even got started

    • I wish there was more like you. Some women enjoy thinking they're still entitled to all this...

      "I don't know how that even got started "
      It's historical. It was normal for a man to provide for his family entirely because he was the only one allowed to work. It still is the case in some middle East countries.
      Now women have been given the means to support themselves and be independent. Except (real) men don't a give a fuck about women's independence since they take pride in being capable of providing for her if possible (economical context has also changed, forcing couples to need 2 salaries), and this will never change.
      That's what Feminists have problems understanding.

      Some (modern) men enjoy the fact women get money because they don't have to spend a penny on these women anymore. Basically they're happy they can spend more on themselves. It's a more selfish and individualistic approach. I can't stand this type of guy.

  • Having read the updates and some of the comments, all I have to add is congratulations.

    Congratulations that despite the best efforts of your dad and older sister at trying to raise you to be a whore, you didn't and found your own dignity.

  • What's wrong with giving money and paying her bills? I want to be the provider. I like that shit, and cuddling.
    But 3,4 is silly, i hate social media. it's much to social.

  • Hahaha! Fuuuuuck

  • there is no such thing.

  • I'm pleased to see from your other posts that you do not agree with these roles good on you for ignoring obsolete traditions.

  • I hate all these types of girls that have this men suck and "I don't need men" type of attitude then all of a sudden need a man to provide for them financially and everything else when they really dont. So they pretend to care and need someone to take advantage of the free money. The attitude that women get a free pass cause they're women. Gimme a break.

    A man is there to care about you and love you and treat you right provided you treat the guy the same in return. He is not someone you are entitled to mooch off of for money etc. That just ain't right and happens way too much. Women get away with murder and do have it much easier than men, I don't care what anybody says.

  • He is not the bank account.
    He is not your ego booster.

    The people who tell you this are idiots.

    A males "role" in a relationship is to be your equal. He should not be "expected" to be your care taker or your parent. If you need constant parenting, ego boosting, or a free flow of finances... stay with your parents because you are not mature enough to be in a relationship.

    You should be mature enough to take care of yourself financially and emotionally and then you support each other equally through good and bad times. You don't just EXPECT the other person to be your entire support network. MAN that is so fucked up.

  • Fuck that I'd never do those unless we were married. Love doesn't have to be tangible

  • 1 and 2 only if your leaving together / married if you go out he sould pay

    • Yeah i agree with that.
      When my boyfriend wanted to pay my phone bill, i told him he's my boyfriend, not my husband and that i don't really expect him to do things like that for me. Though i am very grateful when he does.

  • If you follow standard dating advice, men are supposed to do everything in the relationship and worship the woman. She's simply got to be pretty and maybe have sex with him once on their honeymoon and then never again.

    Obviously, it's pretty unsatisfying for both.

    Be independent. Choose what you want and find a man who is on the same page. Fuck anyone who tells you otherwise.

  • That's a fucked up list, I have done that stuff in the past but I learned it just isn't worth it.

    • I'm really sorry. But yeah, i think there's too many "rules" for bfs. And quite frankly i think it's unfair. Bfs are to be enjoyed and had when u need a special partner to go out with u and all that. I mean yeah, he can treat u if he likes. But other than that, people get the role of a boyfriend confused with the role of a husband. Smh

    • I agree. It's a good test though, if she actually expects all that stuff: she's not a keeper.

What Girls Said 8

  • A man is only supposed to give you love and respect in the relationship. Money, bills and other stuff like that don't matter, and if you are a woman that follows the code stated in this question, it's no wonder you can't keep a guy.

    (Not specifically said at anyone or question owner)

    • No no, chica the floor is yours. It's y'all time to "preach" to materialistic gfs.
      I'm tired of feeling guilty because i don't expect these things from my boyfriend. I'm very happy to know I'm not wrong.

  • Here is my thing about the roles (I prefer that term of over job) of a boyfriend and girlfriend
    don't expect what you are not willing to give and everything else about who is suppose to do what, when, where, and why doesn't work for everyone. All of these rules are stupid. A relationship should be beneficial for the both of you emotionally, not about what someone can do for you and what other people think about them.

  • I don't really agree with any of those "duties," for the only thing that a partner is "supposed" to do is support and help you grow.

  • These are superficial silly things. A man is supposed to love you, period.

  • Supposed to make her happy in every possible way, if all those you mention above would make her happy, so be it.

    • I understand that, but i think there's so much pressure on bfs in doing SUPPOSEDLY doing these things , instead of doing it from the heart cuz he WANTS to. I rather have that anyday.

  • are you serious on this, or a guy posting as a girl?

    • Lol i assure u that I'm 100% female, I'm just not a feminist to a certain extent. I honestly have no idea how to prove to you that i am who i say i am, so you'll have to take my honest to God word for it.

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    • So be it, then. If i was trolling, i would have been anonymous. :)
      And just because i made an update that you don't like, doesn't change the fact that i am exactly who i said i am. Smh.

    • you should capitalize your i's, if you're confident! I think most people agree with you.

  • to love and provide secruity

  • You'll never find Mr. right that way


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