How do you go about asking somebody out?

I've only ever been asked out 1 or 2 times, not including guy friends who lead to boyfriends. I'm talking about just meeting someone and asking them out. Like at a coffee shop or a regular at the train station. Does that even happen? I mean you see it in movies and you hear about it sometimes, but it never happens to me? Is that because of me or is it because it rarely actually happens?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I look at business models most of the day, and 95% of them are total crap and get thrown in the garbage. They "start" off with "Sales" or "Revenue." They "assume" that the business. . . "if we capture just 1% of the market. . . ." I've already lost interest, because this person has clearly just communicated to me that they don't have a clue how a business works.

    Dating is the same way, you have to start off with the "Sales Funnel."

    Step 1: Marketing (this is where all the action is)
    Step 2: Sales
    Step 3: Finance & Management

    All the magic happens in "Marketing." If you don't have customers, you don't have a business - doesn't matter how great your product or service is - period.


    Step 1: Research (not just where "guys" are, but "what kind of guys" your "target market" is, and "then" the question of "where" those guys are, what they look like, what their "consumer behavior" is, etc.)

    Step 2: Strategy (how will you position yourself in the market in order to "acquire" customers from your "target market")

    Step 3: Awareness/Visibility (what will you do to simply get your target market to know you exist; e. g., "notice" and barely be "aware" of you)

    Step 4: Engagement (what will you do after people "notice" you, in order to "attract" and "keep" their attention)

    Step 5: Preference (after being engaged, why will your target customer "prefer" you over alternatives in the market)

    Step 6: Closing/Sale (how will you "convert" an interested customer who prefers your product/service and get that customer to "actually act/close/execute" on their preference... to the point where they "make a decision" and "take action")

    That's the "sales funnel," which should really be called the "marketing funnel," because as you can see, "sales" is not only (just one) part of the process, but (the last) part of the process. If done right earlier on, "closing" is as simple as simply having someone there to just take the orders.

    Applied to "dating," think about which one of these steps you "do" or "skip" as a woman in the marketplace. Assume you're "good/okay" with steps 1 & 6 (an "assumption"). What do you do in terms of steps 2 through 5?

    • Start backwards. Always start backwards and reverse-engineer the process. This will help you feel confident, because you will "be" confident, because you will "know" the underlying derivative value-driver that's the driving force for the "current" step of the process you're in. For example, you'll feel confident with "why a guy would prefer you," because you "know" you're a good closer. You'll feel confident as a "flirt (i. e., engagement," because you "know" guys "prefer" you. You'll feel confident "doing things to get you notice (i. e., advertising)" because you "know" you're a good flirt. You'll feel confident "dressing up a certain way and having certain body language (i. e., positioning in the market)" because you "know" you're good at "getting noticed (i. e., you're not wasting time and looking like an idiot when trying to advertise)." So, it makes sense to look at the entire process "backwards."

    • Show All
    • Hey, that was pretty quick.. flexing your "reward him for participating" skills ; )

    • Haha well what better way to start putting into action what I've learnt 😁😜

Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • You know a guy friend say, would you like to go see a movie

    that is how you make a date happen , You can even invite a guy friend

    to go out to a picnic in park just sitting / relaxing maybe pack small

    cooler with sandwiches and drinks, snacks ,

  • Hey, sorry for being soo sudden and random, but when I saw you I had to let you know that you're really pretty.

    *insert a little more small talk.*
    (If it goes well ask for her number and suggests going out when free)

  • Honestly I never tried it, I mean it's not exactly hard though, you see a man or women you like you talk to them, if you guys hit it off, you say something like want to get some coffee sometime or something along those lines. And if he or she doesn't give you his/her number you give them theirs, then it's more of a waiting game if only one of you has the others number.

    Of course that's just me, I am not really in a habit of approaching strangers and getting dates, I prefer to get to know someone a little bit first. It gives me a better idea of the type of person I may or may not be getting involved with.

    To answer one of your questions though yes it happens, that's how my cousin met his wife, they had been making eye contract and stuff in the bookstore and when they went into the parking lot he just went up to her, asked for number and the rest is history.

  • It's because most men are actually pansies. It will happen, you're really cute. Just give it time.


What Girls Said 1

  • just talk to them like any normal person would and ask them out. the more direct you are the better


Recommended myTakes