We are both 30, been dating over a year, not living together. We typically get along well - it's a laid back, relaxed relationship.
I invited him last week to meet my family. He repeatedly agreed to come but cancelled last minute. As in the day of, I called him to ask when he's coming over and he said he didn't feel like it. No excuse other than "I'm tired babe and I look like shit." I should make it clear that he cancels constantly, not just on me but on his friends, his family, and his own plans (amazingly enough). So I've never taken it personally but just considered it a flaw in his personality.
However, this time his cancelling was disrespectful to my family, who were coming over specifically to meet him. And it was also the second time he has done so. This was not acceptable to me. I told him so and he said sorry and he knows he's messing up etc but I was angry and had enough - this is my family we are talking about. If he didn't want to go, he could have simply said so; instead, he promised to go and then bailed without a legit reason. So I said I wanted to break up.
I admit I have a bad habit of saying break up whenever I'm angry. I'm working on it and I realize it's harmful to the relationship. We always get back together in a day after I calm down. In any event, I grabbed my things from his house that very day, gave him a hug (even when mad, I don't like burning bridges), and left. Haven't heard from him in nearly a week and I also have not contacted him since. This is unlike us as we usually make up within a day or two.
I'm not sure what to do. I understand he might be tired of constantly breaking up and that he's really done... do you guys think so? Should I contact him even though he was in the wrong? Or should I just wait and see if he contacts me... and if I should wait, then for how long? He hasn't deleted or blocked me from anything, which he usually does with exs, so I'm hoping that means he doesn't consider us really broken up.
Most Helpful Guy
When it comes to meeting the family of your boyfriend, or girlfriend, this can sometimes build in someone's mind into something so overwhelming. Yes, he said he wants to meet your family and did agree. But it is possible that he's under a lot of subconscious pressure in what they will think of him. I'm curious if he's broken other promises to do something or be somewhere, or if it was just with your family. I feel like your relationship is struggling a little more than him not wanting to meet your family. There are clear communications that are not being properly relayed. From what you've said, he is perfectly comfortable in not telling you what is really going on, which only leads to confusion, fear, and your inevitable explosions in the relationship. Now, you've stated that you shouldn't break up after every fight (perfect advice), and you are justified to be upset. But keep in mind that until you really know what's going on, it's your job to uncover the truth. If he won't tell you what's going on, that is on him and is hurting your relationship. It's nice he'a apologizing and recognizes that he's 'messing up', but what is he doing to fix the issue? A relationship takes two people, and it doesn't matter how much you love him, if he isn't trying, it will fail. So find out why this is happening. Don't interrogate him, but you deserve to know what's really going on. Yes, call him and find out. The worst thing is that he ignores you and you have to take more time to find out. Just remember, don't mark him as a criminal until you've discovered the crime. He has been rude to you, but until you understand his side, it won't be cut and dry as to who should apologize, who should call first, who should try the hardest.
(Note: some guys need time to cool off so make sure you give them time, but not too much or they turn to iron and never want to talk)0
Most Helpful Girl
I kinda understand where he's coming from. For me it's really hard to meet other people especially my s. o. family because there is a lot of pressure to be liked. I'd say just contact him and talk it out.0