Girls, Can a girl go from Very interested - to - just wanting to be friends in a heartbeat?

So there was this bartender girl I met while I was having quiet drinks with a friend, and a few times I went there we had brief small talk, so eventually I got the balls to give her my number (role reversal haha) so she didn't feel pressure to get back to me. I had no expectations that she'd contact me.
Next afternoon she txts me with an upbeat tone, asking how my night went... I asked her if she was free for a drink, then we went out later that week.
Took her to a really nice little cocktail bar and the conversation was flowing and she seemed thrilled to be there the date was almost 100% perfect.
the next day I txted her saying thanks for coming out and that I'd love to do it again. and she replied something along the lines of "Thanks so much for taking me out, I had such a nice night!! and absolutley :)"
a week went by and I didn't contact her, just to keep the space, then eventually hit her up for another date.
Took her out for dinner and finished with a few drinks at this other nice place.. i walked her home both times and on the second date we kissed... NOW...
txted her again after that date saying thankyou etc, and that i'd contact her soon to tell her when im free... she said "yeah i had fun! and yeah sounds good :)" and two days after that i txted her saying i hope her weeks going well and we should get a quick coffee tomorrow.
she didn't reply and the next morning she says "well i had a great few dates but i see you as more of a friend! happy to grab coffee sometime next week if you're still keen?"... and i replied saying it's all ok and that we'll leave the coffee for now etc etc.

She seemed so obliging and upbeat the whole time and I thought we had quiet a good thing going! bit disappointing but ah well. just curious like what do girls want in a guy? i made sure I was completely myself, had great fun, and made sure I was being the most gentlemenly I could possibly have been. can any girls give me a pers


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What Girls Said 1

  • That's definitely very strange. It sounds like she may have just been going on the dates to see how she feels about you. She probably realized later on that she didn't feel very strongly for you as more than a friend. So, I don't think it's that her "feelings suddenly changed" but more like, she wasn't sure and was just feeling things out with you and then decided that she only views you as a friend.

    I'm sorry it turned out this way though, I can definitely understand how her behavior was confusing and maybe misleading. In my opinion, if she didn't have feelings for you then I think she shouldn't have agreed to go on those dates with you. At least you know where she stands now though.

    • Yeah I think you're spot on! I think sometimes (from what I think I know) girls can be excited at the idea of a guy being interested in taking them out ya know?
      but for the future... you see all this crap on the internet about "don't be too friend like" or "don't kiss her on the first date, then kiss her on the second date, then sleep with her on the third"... stuff like that, but does that ACTUALLY matter cause I didn't want to sleep with her until at least the third date... cause apart of me is thinking I should have (not that it matters now) slept with her to get all close and steer away from a "friend" relationship, but I want to only sleep with a girl when she really WANTS to with no pressure. OR is that all a load of crap? I just want to figure that out definitively if that bulllshit. cause I find being a gentlemen is not that difficult, but then I'm at risk of being thought of as a kind friend. or does it just come down to how the girl feels around you as a person full stop?

    • I honestly don't think the "rules" of dating are that important. You don't have to set time limits for everything. I would just go with the flow and wait for the right time for YOU. You don't have to sleep with a woman in order for her to not view you as a friend. I would say it's actually better to not sleep withs someone "too soon."

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