Guys: Do you consider subtle rejections worse than open rejections?

This has to do with mind games like hard to get where girls: Either interested or not, string a guy along by showing less/no signs of attraction.

In my opinion, a girl who is not straightforward and plays hard to get can hurt much more than a girl I ask out and says "no". I am a creature a honesty. I despise subtlety and have been duped over and over again in my young life that dishonest people are among my worst enemies.

Picture this: You are a guy who is having a crush on a girl who doesn't really like you. Instead of her saying "no", she plays hard to get and acts friendly and you think "hmm, she might be wanting me to chase her". It turns out, she was all along trying to distance herself from you for three months and you didn't know that.

So not only you got rejected, but you wasted so much time trying to know if she was into you or not.

That's the evil of "hard to get". You don't know if she wants the chase or doesn't really like you.

In this situation, if you want to know whether she likes you, be straightforward ask her out, she says "no", you got your answer so early and go on to another girl who might. like you.
  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Why would you allow this to go on for 3 months?

    You should have caught a clue from her sooner than that LoL!!!

    • Well I can't read body language! If she just made it clear verbally "I don't feel attracted" or "I'm not interested" then I'd call it off. Yes, it might hurt, but I would save loads of time.

      This sounds weird, but I'm going to start wearing a shirt saying "I have Asperger's, so be blunt with me" when I approach girls. This would immediately weed out any girls who aren't interested in me. And the ones who like me would get the message.

    • "In this situation, if you want to know whether she likes you, be straightforward ask her out, she says "no", you got your answer so early and go on to another girl who might. like you."

      That's in every situation, well at least you know now.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Open rejections, I believe is worse. In my opinion, subtle rejections are not REAL. The girl tests if your worth it that's why she "plays hard to get".

    • What am I supposed to do when she plays hard to get? Act desperate? If both of us were playing hard to get, no one would be talking and a relationship would never happen.

      I would never appreciate a relationship where a girl intentionally flirts with other guys in front of me to make me jealous. She knows I like her, why the torture?

      It's frustrating.

    • You're not sure of her motives so be optimistic. Maybe she does that because she is not sure if you like her. She wants you to show her you like her.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I would much rather be subtly rejected. Open rejections can be humiliating and I would feel stupid and awkward after that. But I've been subtly rejected a few times and I much preferred it. That way, I can just take the hint and move on, and keep my pride.


What Guys Said 7

  • Rejection is rejection..
    Make your intentions clear from the start, if they are not reciprocated move on..
    There is too many high value women you can meet in the world, who do not play hard to get , instead of wasting time with childish games

  • You should always be straightforward and ask her out.

    Why play that stupid game?

  • I would much rather be rejected to my face. That way there can be no doubts about anything, no mind games are going on, just the truth.

  • Dude, she wasn't playing hard to get. She was being nice to you.

    • I would much rather a girl be mean and tell me the truth than making me think there's still a chance.

    • I agree with iamwoot here. And @QuestionMan, if the guy gathered the courage and asked her out, then he would have his answer. Instead he usually tries to be subtle because he likes thinking there's still a chance.

    • Yes exactly

  • crap i meant to vote yes... when a girl strings you along its the worse feeling in the world.

  • Yes, this is why it's best to ask out early and release the tension sooner rather than later.

  • Yeah, subtle rejections are usually worse.


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