Why does he do this?

My boyfriend said to me "you're coming to my beautiful best friends party", his "beautiful best friend" is a girl, and it makes me uncomfortable that he speaks of other people that way to me, the other day I was dancing in front of the TV and there was a hot celebrity music video on and he told me to move out of the way and when I was like err he was like "of course I'm going to tell you to move and I'm going to watch her, she's fit", is this sort of stuff really acceptable?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I've always wondered what was better, telling the truth or treating people better? The fact is, the truth is a good thing and should be encouraged, but in how we treat people, that is us displaying truth. The same is true for people, that it is better that we treat people with respect rather than just pain truth. Relationships are complicated things because they always involve more than just one person. So in this relationship, you're learning about each other, and what works best for the other person. When they're happy, you can feel happy. And trying to make sure the other person is happy, rather than focus on yourself will ensure the relationship lasts longer. I don't mean to drag on an answer, but from what you've said, it seems that everything he's said is truth, but just because it is true, to him at least, doesn't mean it is right nor correct. His priority should be you, so calling other people that, when it makes you feel uncomfortable is plain wrong. But it's a rocky trail to figure out his previous history to those people. It might not be a big deal to him, but a huge one to you. His error is that he didn't take the wording into account. As for the second one with the Music Video, of course the girls are hot and fit, but that is no right to state these facts nor compare. He hasn't thought before opening his mouth, and it's worse if he did and still said that. His job is to make you feel cherished and respected, but it doesn't seem like he does. He wants someone who is hotter than you are, rather than focus on who you are as a person while taking your feelings into account that how he treats you is how he treats himself. You are justified in feeling upset in his actions, but only after you communicate this with him. Then if he continues, then it's a brazen attempt to insult you and treat you with disrespect.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Uhh, no. It seems like he's going out of his way to make you feel self-conscious, which can be abusive. Mentioning that someone looks good can be natural in some conversations, but the way he says it feels forced and totally in your face-ish. That's not ok in my opinion.


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