When looking for older women on OkCupid, is it a good idea to not messages one with age ranges not close to mine?

I figure if they're like 44 and put 30-40 they might push it to 26, but if they're that age and put like 38-50 or something then I am wasting my time almost surely?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Probably yes.

    • WHY secretive?

    • Show All
    • Nothing. You are the one who asked.

    • but I want to be friends

Most Helpful Guy

  • Most of the age ranges they list are too restricted, and I believe they are only hurting themselves by not having a more open mind. I mean, I've seem them with no more than a five year age range including their own age. So, a man three years younger or three years older wouldn't be someone they'd consider, apparently... I'd think most of these women would be willing to push it another couple of years or so. Of course, a 44 year-old looking specifically for 30-40 is a bit off. Like, she wants at least a few years younger than her, but not too young? That's slightly picky.

    I'd go ahead and send a message to that person in particular (unless it was a totally made up example). What's the worst that could happen? They actually respond with a no? That's the beauty of the internet; you don't really face any backlash for approaching someone who isn't interested. You see text on the screen, or you get nothing. No big deal.

    I'd say unless you're five or more years out of their listed range, go ahead and give it a shot. Heck, even if you're well out of the range, it wouldn't hurt to go for it if something about them really caught your interest. You might be wasting your time in that case, but it can't hurt.


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah, you'll probably be wasting your time.
    Just go for it anyway... at worst they'll be annoyed and not reply back.
    Maybe block you.

    From your end, it wouldn't be much different than messaging anyone else.


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