Should I listen to my older friend?

I have a friend of mine who is much older than me, and she sees me almost like her daughter. The issue is that everytime I speak with her she is always negative. Recently my ex and I seperated (he moved out in May of 2014) we tried to reconcile that failed and things ended permanently this Jan. From that time I have not as much talked to another man as I had hope that we would reconcile. We also have a 4 yr old. I have recently met a man who I fancy.

We have not been intimate and I have not introduced him to my son as i would not do this until I was sure we were serious. I told her that he has been taking me out every week and all she did was spew negativity. She said I should not be seeing anyone. She was saying how this relationship could fail and that it would destroy me. She even tried to say that I go from man to man when in truth I have only dated 2 people and been sexual with only. Each time I get on the phone from her all she does is talk about how crazy my ex is, and how I need to be careful and to a degree she is right, but she acts like I can make him snap out of it. I am not very confident in myself, but am learning to love myself and this older gentleman I am seeing is really nice. Should I stop seeing this man because my friend said. I am 27 and my friend is in her 50s.


Most Helpful Guy

  • She sounds like a bitter old woman who is motivated by jealousy more than a concern for your best interest. IS she divorced? Lives alone?

    • well she is kinda bitter. she basically married later in life and her husband is a much older man. (20 + yrs) she basically runs over him. She never dated men her age bc she is very controlling and demanding.

    • Well, you should listen to her if you think she has got some wisdom and has her life under control in a way that is attractive to you. I think we both know where this is going.

      If you like the idea of having an older friend/mentor, find someone on this site who you like and message them with a few questions. There are folks on here who welcome such opportunities.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Being around a negative person is like trying to catch cancer. HOWEVER, is she constantly negative, or does she encourage in some ways and discourage in others. Sometimes, when we want people to agree with what we are doing, we tend to see them as negative because we do not want to stop what we are doing, even though we know it might not be right. But if your friend is unhappy, ten she is burdening you with her unhappiness. Misery always love company.
    I would suggest talking to your friend and asking her the reasons why she is negative on this relationship. If she says "you should not be seeing anyone" but does not say why, then she has nothing to say. However, if she has good reasons, listen. THEN you decide what is best for you and decline her advice, in a respectful manner. You can say "You know I respect your friendship, and appreciate your advice, so please always feel free to give it; however, I think, at this point in my life, I need to make this decision. I hope you do not take that personally, because you mean a lot to me as a friend." then do what you want, and live with the results, good or bad.


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