Asking a girl out?

I'm 21 and I've never asked out a girl. This must seem weird. Right now, you're probably thinking I'm the standard shy guy, probably quiet and not very confident in himself.

But it's quite the opposite. I'm chatty when I want to be, I'd descrive myself as a sociable introvert who likes to cut shit out of fake freindships, I don't seek to climb socially and I embrace friendships with people I feel are true, worthy people whether they are already popular people, or whether they are a little bit more quiet.

My problem is getting over the initial hurdle. I always think way too ahead and think about more reasons why things can't work out than why they can. I. e. career goals mean I won't be a very good boyfriend, even though people say I'd make an excellent one.

I guess I need to take the plunge sooner rather than later as the longer I put it off, the longer I'll be single and the sooner I realise this, the better. I've had opportunities to ask girls out but I didn't really get 100% confident in myself until halfway through uni and at this point, I was worried I'd end up getting loved up with a girl and having to get into an LDR, which I quite simply didn't want and didn't want to risk!

Also, today, it seems quite common to get drunk, sleep with a girl, get into a relationship rather than get a number, meet up, do an activity (drinks or dinner or something together a few times), then relationship then sex...

Can anyone help?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey i think if you like a girl... find out what kind of intrests she has to show you want to get to know her... make a little sweet gesture ie leaving a flower by her door... and just say hey do you like ice skatting i have never been and think it would be fun... after spendding some time togther even if its a group you'll slowly start feeling more at ease with her and it will be so much more easy.

    Readding what you said i think your thinkking to much like... i need a girlfriend... is she girlfriend material... i know it sounds cheesy but the second you drop all that you'll be suprised you'll find someone when your not looking.

    All the best


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm in the same boat. Although I'd call myself an introvert that has to be sociable by trade.

    • I'm quite sociable around people I consider not to be fake. My view of the world is a very negative one in that humans actively use other humans to get their wants and needs satisfied, you just have to find the humans most worthy of using you.

      Most 'friends' couldn't give a shit about the person who is their supposed 'friend', everyone is simply concerned with their own happiness because as humans, that's what we desire.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • ask out a girl that is already your friend.

    • Is friendzone simply a term for boys who are friends but are not attractive in her eyes and thus she just says lets be friends. Whereas if you're an attractive friend who hasn't been too nice, she might say yes?

What Guys Said 1

  • You just have to do it. You will never be perfect and you don't have to be.

    Also, you don't have to get into any relationship type you don't want to be in. You have a say too.


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