How do you talk to women you are interested in?

My whole life I have never had a girlfriend, all through high school I was that kid that was so scared to talk to girls that I can count on 2 hands how many times I had a conversation with a woman in high school. I always sat there in the corner admiring beautiful girls but I would never talk to them. Here at college half the girls party and sleep around (which is disgusting to me), so I stay far away from them. Occasionally I meet a good looking girl who doesn't party, but I dont know how to talk to her sinice I have 0 experience, I have no idea what I am doing. My friends make it look easy, despite not being very good looking, or not being incredibly smart, they can still just go up and talk to a hot girl and get her to like them. I try doing that and it is just the most awkward conversation ever, and I leave angry that I even tried talking to the girl. Even with looks on my side I still have no idea what to do, that doesn't help me at all in my interactions. Sure it helps attract girls to me, but if I can't follow up on that with interactions then what do looks matter. I dont understand how to talk with girls. I try pretending they are guys and just small talking with them, but that is so hard because most girls dont like football, or star wars like me so its hard. We always just small talk though, I dont know what you do differently with a girl you are interested in, eventually you have to move on the relationship right? From friends to more, but I have no idea how to do that. I always have to lead the conversation which sucks because I dont know what I am doing. Women expect me to intiate everything, initiate the first conversation, initiate the first hang out, they expect me to lead the conversations, ask her out, act a certain way, they expect me to propse, and do all this stuff that I have no idea how to do.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Join a club, get into an interest group. There you'll develop other passions and meet girls and you can discuss your common interest (whatever new skill you've taken up). It'll make you a more interesting person to others as well.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sort of in the same hole as you. I'm attractive and smart, but I rarely approach girls. My situation is different in the aspect that I have had a long term relationship (that I just got out of) and I choose to rarely approach girls because, just like you, I am disgusted by girls that party all the time and sleep around. I'm also picky. I won't waste my time if she's missing something. That doesn't mean that I don't make exceptions or talk to any girls at all, but anyways you have to force yourself to be more social. Try to become friends with some girls that you are not attracted to and vice versa. This will help you get familiar. My friend group is majorly lacking girls, but we have a few, and I'm friends with many others, and trust me it helps. Once you get used to talking to them you begin to figure out that that talking to a girl really isn't that different from talking to a guy. Obviously you don't want to be immature and rude like some of us are with our guys friends, but treat her as an equal and not some goddess, and she will notice and appreciate it. Just go with the flow of things. If she wants the friendship to be something more then you'll usually notice. Some girls take it very slow while others go out after knowing the guy for a few days. Don't forget how you feel though! Think about if you want to take it to the next level or not. And with your question about taking it to the next level, all I can say is that there is no specific way to do it. It's always different depending on the person, and you just kind of merge into it. Hope this helps!


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • Just chill out man! Don't complicate things. Women are humans too, so don't be scared to talk to them. Start by having normal conversations with women, just as you would with men. This will help in overcoming your fear. Next, you can focus on asking them out or expressing romantic interest. Take it one step at a time.

  • Use your imagination.

    Just imagine you and this girl have been friends for so long you just take one another for granted. Talk to them like you are continuing a conversation you were just having.

    You are going to have to broaden your horizons beyond football and Star Wars.


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