hello everyone, Im 20 and have someone in my life for 4 years, we broke up once and I had another relationship. But during that I remembered that I still loved my ex boyfriend. My mom got so angry with me, saying that whats past is past, and my dad is so strict about me not having a boyfriend. They yelled at me and took away my phone and computer. My mom said if you marry him you won't see our faces again (Im 20..), they think he is ugly. "I won't SAY HE IS MY DAUGHTERS BOYFRIEND, POINTING THAT MONKEY FACE IN PUBLIC." Mom shouted, it broke my heart so bad. I love him, they laugh at me. My most trusted 2 people... They think he won't be able to get a good job, and I will be sorry for what I've done to my parents by being so strict about my thoughts and making them sad. I didn't want to make them sad, I love them but I go between losing my love or my parents.. What to do, help please thank you :(
Most Helpful Guy
What do you mean what to do? you shouldn't have a doubt on this one? Ask yourself these questions. Are you sure that your boyfriend is the one for you? are you sure he will keep you happy if you marry him? are you sure he will love you till the end and are you sure you also love him equally? Do you really see your future with him?
If your answers to these questions are yes then you shouldn't care what your parents think about the one you love, you must understand the love that you have for your parents is different than the love that you have for your boyfriend (the love between you two) and so there is no competition here, don't worry about what your parents what, what is important is what you want in life, it's your life, it's a question of your future so don't let other factors affect your decision. Choose what makes you happy. Now, I know you know your parents better than anyone but if I have to give you my view on your parents, I am sorry they are not the ideal kind of parents you would like to have, I mean what kind of parents won't care about their daughter's happiness? what kind of parents force, pressurize their daughter into doing things? From your post it's clear that you are being emotionally blackmailed, please don't give in to such blackmail, once you do there is no turning back, once they know they can control you by emotionally blackmailing you they will never stop, they will keep doing it, the only way to beat emotional blackmail is by having a strong will power and resistance. I am sorry for being blunt but your parents are just not the right kind of people, they seem to have total disrespect to your feelings, and towards your boyfriend, okay even if they don't like him there is a way to say that to you, to explain to you as in particular where they have a problem with him, but not like this, not the way you have mentioned in the post. Parents who care about their daughter's happiness will never behave like this, parents who truly love you, care about you will never emotionally blackmail you, will never force you into doing anything. You may hope that one day your parents will change but logically speaking it's highly unlikely that will ever happen. If your parents have always been like this, then they won't change and moreover it's not in your hands, it's not up to you. I am sorry if you don't like it but that's my honest opinion about your parents.1