So I've never been in a relationship. I've dated a bit, but nothing has ever gone anywhere. Only ever kissed maybe three times, and that's the extent of my physical experience.
I've kind of started dating this new guy. Our second date we kissed, and it was lovely, if not a little scary for me, just cause he was a little intense about it. But then again, it could've just seemed that way because of my inexperience. He knows that I'm pretty inexperienced, and that I've never had sex, and he's already told me that he's not one to push, and he's fine with waiting for the sex stuff. But he does want to make out and cuddle and stuff. And while I want to as well, it also scares me cause I worry that the relationship will be all about the physical stuff, and he won't care about me as a person. It's not even him specifically. Just guys in general. Like it causes me legitimate anxiety. And I'm even more worried about it cause he's 7 older than me. It's odd for someone my age to be completely inexperienced. I'm just not sure how to handle this. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Most Helpful Guy
I've known girls like that. Even when they wanted to get physical sometimes they couldn't. I don't know what it is, but they are just like that. They can't be with just anyone, and have to feel very comfortable with who they are with. I know one girl who really like a guy, really wanted to be with him and go all the way and have sex. They'd get going pretty heavy, then at the least minute she just couldn't do it. Then felt bad about it since he was already heated up.
I really don't know what you can do other than going slow and making sure you are comfortable with who you're with, and comfortable about the pace of things. When you are ready then you are ready. There may still be some anxiety there, but I think you'll still know when your are ready.5
Most Helpful Girl
From my experience I've had guys tell me that they are good with waiting and that they weren't pushy and their actions proved otherwise. Men are naturally limit pushers. If you keep letting him cross your line of comfort he will keep doing it.
I'm led to believe by how you're speaking that you aren't comfortable with him yet... Therefore you shouldn't let the sexual part of your relationship reach a level that is uncomfortable to you. Don't let him make YOU feel like you're doing something wrong because you're inexperienced and want to take things slow. There is NOTHING wrong with that and you're never going to regret waiting for the moment that felt right. You will, however, regret letting a guy cause you to make decisions you weren't ready for. You can't take that back.
When you're with a guy and in a situation where the time is right, you're not going to feel uncomfortable. Its normal to be nervous but if you don't feel like you want what he's pushing for, you have the right to say no and stop it from happening.
If he's truly into you for you, he will stop being pushy until you're ready. Don't let him make you decide on things you're unsure of, because if you let him... He will.2