Is it OK to be the predictable safe option?

Question

It's been a year. We've never fought, we've never had any rough patches that last more than a few hours.
He reads me like a book, I can ask him what I'm thinking and he'll be spot on. He knows if I lie, and I don't mind that.

He said it's an easy relationship. That I'm very innocent and he can always predict what I'll do.

Is this a bad thing? I'm just very genuine and trusting, but does this make it not interesting enough? Boring?

I know there are "safe guys" but what do you think about "safe girls"?

Answer 1

ELGRECO

Xper 5

''Is this a bad thing? I'm just very genuine and trusting, but does this make it not interesting enough? Boring?''

If things has stayed the same over the last year, you have nothing to fear.
If it wasn't interesting, he would have left by now. or you would at the least notice it.

''I'm just very genuine and trusting''
Also how is this boring and uninteresting?

Kalibie

+1 y
The fact that I will never lie or that he always knows what I'm thinking. He can even tell when I'm about to pms just from talking over the phone.

I guess I mean I'm not spontaneous? And he said angry sex is fun but... I've never even raised my voice at him!

I guess seeing all those passionate relationships and drama around me I'm a little insecure that I can't surprise him
ELGRECO

+1 y
Who said he wants to be surprised, did he say this?
He could actually want the opposite, you in this case.

You say all these things could make you boring, but have you consider that this is actually what he likes/loves about you?

Like I said, you haven't changed since the last year have you?
Kalibie

+1 y
Not really... I suppose so. Thank you.
I thought it was a good thing since it's a very trusting and mature relationship, but I just realized I sound like one of those nice guys on this site yesterday lol.
I asked him about it, and all he said was it's an easy relationship. And nothing else.
Which is why I got a little nervous since it wasn't a compliment or a complaint.
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ELGRECO

+1 y
Well to be a bit harsh,

I'm not the sharpest, but if my girlfriend asked what you did.
I would say more than '' it's an easy relationship''

Because it's obvious something is troubling you, thought he could ''read you like a book'''?
Kalibie

+1 y
Well. He just doesn't say mushy stuff at all. And I can't read him like he does me. And I made a point to change the subject because im clingier and I don't want to make it seem like I'm begging for validation and coddling
ELGRECO

+1 y
Oh trust me I wasn't talking about being mushy, I'm quite direct with that.

''You think you are uninteresting?, you aren't or wouldn't my girlfriend.'' for example.

Also it's not begging, I hope your doubts are somewhat faded.
But if they do resurface, talk with him, and don't change the subject.
Kalibie

+1 y
Thanks! I'll definitely keep that in mind, you've been really helpful. I guess I really needed to hear it from a guy other than my bf?
This kind of "thoughtfulness" (read conflict avoident behavior) is why we don't fight but it's also a problem since I don't speak up and sit there thinking too much sometimes.
I'm working on it. :)
ELGRECO

+1 y
No problem, you are 20 years old, focus on learning not perfecting.
Also don't think too much, it causes doubt, and messes with your reasoning.
Kalibie

+1 y
Perks of dating an older guy haha. He shoots down most of the doubts I have before I realize I'm thinking them.
"If that was a problem you wouldn't be in my apartment right now"
What you said sounds pretty similar lol

I guess that's what makes us so different, I feel like men are much more straight forward haha
ELGRECO

+1 y
''I feel like men are much more straight forward haha ''
Well your feelings are right, I'll tell you that.

But it seems to me like you have nothing to worry about, hopefully for a very long time.

Answer 2

Kalibie

The fact that I will never lie or that he always knows what I'm thinking. He can even tell when I'm about to pms just from talking over the phone.

I guess I mean I'm not spontaneous? And he said angry sex is fun but... I've never even raised my voice at him!

I guess seeing all those passionate relationships and drama around me I'm a little insecure that I can't surprise him

Answer 3

ELGRECO

Who said he wants to be surprised, did he say this?
He could actually want the opposite, you in this case.

You say all these things could make you boring, but have you consider that this is actually what he likes/loves about you?

Like I said, you haven't changed since the last year have you?

Answer 4

Kalibie

Not really... I suppose so. Thank you.
I thought it was a good thing since it's a very trusting and mature relationship, but I just realized I sound like one of those nice guys on this site yesterday lol.
I asked him about it, and all he said was it's an easy relationship. And nothing else.
Which is why I got a little nervous since it wasn't a compliment or a complaint.

Answer 5

ELGRECO

Well to be a bit harsh,

I'm not the sharpest, but if my girlfriend asked what you did.
I would say more than '' it's an easy relationship''

Because it's obvious something is troubling you, thought he could ''read you like a book'''?

Answer 6

Kalibie

Well. He just doesn't say mushy stuff at all. And I can't read him like he does me. And I made a point to change the subject because im clingier and I don't want to make it seem like I'm begging for validation and coddling

Answer 7

ELGRECO

Oh trust me I wasn't talking about being mushy, I'm quite direct with that.

''You think you are uninteresting?, you aren't or wouldn't my girlfriend.'' for example.

Also it's not begging, I hope your doubts are somewhat faded.
But if they do resurface, talk with him, and don't change the subject.

Answer 8

Kalibie

Thanks! I'll definitely keep that in mind, you've been really helpful. I guess I really needed to hear it from a guy other than my bf?
This kind of "thoughtfulness" (read conflict avoident behavior) is why we don't fight but it's also a problem since I don't speak up and sit there thinking too much sometimes.
I'm working on it. :)

Answer 9

ELGRECO

No problem, you are 20 years old, focus on learning not perfecting.
Also don't think too much, it causes doubt, and messes with your reasoning.

Answer 10

Kalibie

Perks of dating an older guy haha. He shoots down most of the doubts I have before I realize I'm thinking them.
"If that was a problem you wouldn't be in my apartment right now"
What you said sounds pretty similar lol

I guess that's what makes us so different, I feel like men are much more straight forward haha

Answer 11

ELGRECO

''I feel like men are much more straight forward haha ''
Well your feelings are right, I'll tell you that.

But it seems to me like you have nothing to worry about, hopefully for a very long time.

Is it OK to be the predictable safe option?

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