Guys, Did I ruin my chancs with him by asking him too much?

So I started a new school, and this guy who isn't popular added me on facebook and flirted with me, asked me if I had a boyfriend. I wasn't interested, but now I am. He said he wanted me to be his "cuddle-friend" because he's not ready for a relationship. He has also said that if he started liking someone, he could consider a relationship. Sometimes he has also said things that make it SOUND as if he actually wanted a relationship with me. But he keeps changing his mind and now he says he doesn't even wanna cuddle because he's afraid either of us will get "relationship feelings"... IRL he shows interest in me, I suppose. He acts normal and even says unneccessary things, as if an excuse to talk to me. He smiles a lot and jokes with me. He jokes and smiles with other people too, but not the same as with me, I suppose. But on text he pretty much ignores me. I confronted him about how it doesn't seem he likes me as much as he's told me. I told him how confused I was about what he wanted. I sent him long messages. He takes so long to reply (he has always taken long to reply before, although liking me) but now it seems like he doesn't wanna text at all. I understand that I came off as annoying, but I needed to ask because I was so confused. Yesterday when I told him I wanted to text him something (personal) he seemed annoyed. But I still somehow think he likes me? It seems like it, I guess. From now on I'm gonna give him plenty of space anyway.

Do you think the space is good or have I already ruined my chances anyway? Would you ever date a girl who confronted you about something and wrote long texts? I've apologized to him and said that I just had to ask because I didn't understand when he kept saying different things and changing his mind. And I know I won't do it again because I feel like it was a mistake. I was just afraid I was being played and I had no clue what he wanted anymore. I've been annoyed with him once before and confronted him about it, but not like this.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You did everything right. I would love long messages from a woman I was interested in. You may want to consider moving on. There is certainly someone out there that would be more than happy to receive your long messages, and would love to receive more of them. Don't waste time with someone who gets annoyed when receiving nice correspondence from you.

    • But I almost felt like I accused him for giving me different signals and always telling me different things about what he wanted. But then I told him that I didn't want him to feel like I accused him of anything, I just wanted to know because I was confused. But I honestly just feel like I was annoying! And I'm in my twenties so guys my age are different...

    • Show All
    • And also, before telling him that we should be friends for now. I asked him if he ever THINKS that something will happen between us. He just said "I can't answer that because I don't know how I'll feel then".


      Does that means that he still likes me, despite me being annoying as fuck?

    • From what I read, you seem to have done everything correct and appropriate. Not accusing or nagging under the circumstances. It was a serious conversation regarding your feelings and confusion, and you had every right to have it. I wish every woman was as open as you appear to be. I think he still likes you. Give him a little space. He's probably confused himself.

      Guys need to pull away every now and then to re-center, which drives women crazy because it's foreign thinking to them. Give it some time. He knows you care about him and your door is open.

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What Guys Said 2

  • If he's sending all these mixed signals you certainly deserve some answers. He should realize this. And I wouldn't mind dating a girl who did that. Hell a girl who has the confidence that you do to say whats on your mind is actually highly desirable.

  • People only make time for the people there interested in, unless its their job to (paid for)

    • They're interested*

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