Guys, do you like to chase, or be chased?

When it comes to flirting, dating, and relationships, do you prefer to make the moves, or for the girl to be more assertive?

For example, if you were talking to a girl, would you like it if she was really enthusiastic and into it, or would you like it better if she played a little hard to get? Do you prefer to ask her on a date, or have her ask you?

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  • I prefer to be as certain as possible before I take any action that could end me up in jail or on the sex offender registry list.

    So, "adding" uncertainty or simply "not making an effort (as a woman) to remove uncertainty" definitely is something that's counter-productive to a man moving forward.

    So, if I'm dating a girl, and she's doing nothing to remove that uncertainty about her sexual interest in me, I'm going to leave.

    She either wants to have sex, or she doesn't. She's either interested in me, or she's not. Yes or no. True or false.

    So, if she's "NOT" showing me that she "IS" ... then she's "NOT" interested in having sex, and she's "NOT" interested in me... very simple.

    Maybe that's not 100% true 100% of the times, if we were able to hook her up to a polygraph test and take 3 years to look into her mind with a psychotherapist. But we must all make concessions to the shortness of life, and when in doubt with your criminal legal status and how your actions will "seriously" affect the rest of your life (e. g., your liberty, personal freedom, criminal reputation, etc.), better to avoid such easily avoidable and unnecessary risks.

    It's much easier for me (as a guy) to just leave that situation with a girl that's giving me unclear and uncertain signals... and move on to a girl that is giving me clear-as-day, obvious, and certain signals that she's both interested in me sexually, and interested in having sex with me... rather than "take a chance" and hope that my "guess" is correct.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4hNaFkbZYU

    Additionally, unless the guy is egotistical (and, even if the guy is egotistical), it's always nice to feel like the "sexual" desire is "mutual" and like the other person "wants" you "sexually."

    In our society, it's pretty much openly known and common knowledge that men are sexual people, and interested in women sexually. It's also common knowledge that women are interested in long-term relationships and want marriage.

    So, it's not a coincidence that the social "custom" has developed where men "propose" and ask the woman to marry him (thereby indicating his interest in marrying her, and presupposing that she will "likely" say yes).

    It therefore follows, that the person who is usually the one holding up the "stop signs" and "red lights" to sex, is the person who is in the best position to communicate and signal to the other participant that she wants traffic to continue moving forward.

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What Guys Said 33

  • Here's how it is:
    Two scenarios (both acceptable)
    1. Guy sees a girl, he knows she is not going to come up to him, so he makes the first move, then the girl has the right to react positively or negatively, guys act according to this. If positive response they chase, if negative response, they should withdraw.

    *girl just needs to react to what he does either positively or negatively

    2. Girl shows interest in guy (asks him something, smiles at him, laughs or shows interest), guy most then chase again. Now, even if she likes him a lot, she SHOULD do her best to play hard to get, LET HIM CHASE, remember that does not mean reacting negatively to his behavior etc, you should still smile, laugh, etc to let him know you are interested in him, BUT that is different from chasing him.

    Rule of thumb for you: YOU REACT to him only, you do not CHASE. He is the chaser. And with scenario 2 you have the option of going to him first but note that is not chasing! You are just reacting positively to him by talking to him, smiling etc -> this only to show that you are interested

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  • I tend to go for more assertive women. When I split up with my long term girlfriend when I was 21 I decided I was going to flip the game on its head and stop laying it all out there like a sucker, and start playing the role of the girl. In my mind, I took an attitude like "why should SHE get chased by ME? Who the hell is this chick to warrant that? I want to see a little chasing from her." Don't look at the woman in a degrading sense, just recognize that she's just a random idiot like the rest of us and shouldn't be placed on a false pedestal. It's just another human being. So I have no problem letting her do the chasing. You'll lose out on some who won't play that game, but I don't want a relationship with a chick that expects that either. Like Mike Damone says in Fast Times At Ridgemont High, you have to have "the attitude." "The Attitude dictates that you don't care if she comes, stays, lays, or prays. No matter what happens your toes are still tappin'." Doesn't mean you have to be an asshole. Just don't be a sucker, as I feel like a lot of girls either consciously or unconsciously respect that.
    https://youtu.be/WefrRjyOKf4

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  • I don't want to chase. Please cut the bull. I'm almost 30, and I just want to get into a serious relationship. If I like her, and she likes me, then we should court like grown adults.

    I don't understand why the fuck people chase each other, if they both know they like each other. It's stupid. Once you get that "catch" you start taking them for granted, because you only saw them as a goal, and not a life long journey.

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    • If I like a girl, I'm gonna get to know her and ask her out. But I'm not gonna bend over backwards for her and chase her if I think she's playing hard to get, or I'll assume she doesn't like me. I'm gonna move on. I'm tired of playing games and seeing people treating dating like a game.

  • I enjoy the chase. I like to be the one hunting for whomever i fancy. I feel that I am the one that suits best for initiating actions, ask her out, make the moves.

    I would obviously prefer the girl to be enthusiastic as it feels better when you're winning unlike if you're hunting for a girl that's playing hard to get.

    Scientifically speaking, male characterstics, hormones and instincts are much more suited to hunt and chase rather than wait to be chased by the woman. A man has an approaching mechanism and woman has a filtering mechanism.

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  • I don't think "be chased" is a good term but I would like her to be straight up. I'm socially awkward, I'm shy, I don't get hints, I take things too literally, whatever, I can't do the chasing.

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  • i hate it when girls play hard to get. it makes it seem like she is not interested, so if she keeps acting disinterested i am going to give up/lose interest..

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  • I like being chased it's a nice feeling. I want a girl that's enthusiastic and into me and not some girl that toys with me by playing hard to get.

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  • I like it when they are hard to get but I don't want to be proposing ALL the dates, that is just draining and makes me wonder if she is even interested.

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  • Nope. I prefer to ask her out.
    About games? That is too immature i won't do and i don't like when girls do it.
    The level of being into it and enthusiastic should be tied between me and her.

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  • I'll never chase a girl. Seriously it never works. Some of the best relationships and sex I've ever had was when they chased me.

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  • I prefer to be chased. I hate when girls play hard to get. It's so immature and a turn off in my opinion.

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    • But it's not immature when you play hard to get?

    • I don't play hard to get. What i mean by being chased is that i want girls to make the moves first. I'm tired of always being the one making a move while girls just sit there waiting for guys to approach them.

  • Depends on the girl, I usually ask a woman out to dinner and a movie or maybe a sporting event or a concert.

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  • chasing is fun, but once she's caught its a bit of a.. let down, unless she's really what you cracked her up to be in your head, which rarely happens

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    • It's a let down because you see her as a end goal. You stop seeing her as a person, and more like an object, , and you take her for granted.

    • Very true. I see everyone as objects, i have issues man.

  • It's nice to chase for a while.

    Eventually you get sick of it, and wish she would chase little too.

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  • Chasing never got me a girl. Now I'm just hoping to be chased. Would make things so much easier.

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  • Of course being chased. Why should I waste my precious time chasing after a woman?

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  • I'm not a dog so I don't chase

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  • I don't... I don't have time for games.

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  • Depends on the girl I suppose.

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  • Be chased duuhh

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