How to ask a guy out without actually saying it?

I want to ask a guy out, but I'm really shy and I have social anxiety. So how can I ask him out without just walking up to him and saying "wanna go out?" If I try to just ask him out I know I'll get nervous and not do it, or get tongue tied.

DON'T TELL ME TO JUST WAIT FOR HIM TO ASK ME OUT! I don't care about stereotypical gender roles or dating rules. I want to do this. I just don't know how.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You can try a Vulcan mind meld

    • I would, but this isn't Star Trek, and I'm not a Vulcan.

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    • I don't mean like hang out. We already hang out like everyday. We're good friends, but I want to be... you know... more than friends. But I don't know how to say that without fainting out of fear.

    • Ask him if he's ever thought about being more than friends. Remember he's as paralyzed by fear as you and he might say something like "I dunno" don't give up and tell him you really would like to know and the conversation is just between you two. You can do this. It might not go the way you want but if not it won't be for lack of trying. Nothing ventured nothing gained

Most Helpful Girl

  • id just let him know I'm interested. if he gets the hint like 'oh maybe i should ask her to hang out then', then that's great.

    if he doesn't get it, ill try with something different lol. if he still doesn't get it then he dumb! :P

    anyway, another suggestion.

    it depends on where u r tho. like say ur at school. "did you wanna grab some ice cream after school?"

    just use food as an excuse to hang out lol. it always brings people together <3



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What Guys Said 1

  • First of all, congratulations, you're doing the right thing by not wanting to wait for him. This is the very first step.

    Now you'll just have to figure out a way to do it. Do you talk normally? If you do, just try to have a nice chat with him and then ask him out when an opportunity comes. Even if you don't talk, try to do it.

    Just do something, you'll get nervous, it's normal, but it's better doing it when you can then regretting later for not having done.

    • We talk normally. We're friends and we hang out with the same crowd so we see each other like everyday. We talk all the time, but whenever I want to ask him out I get scared and the words get caught in my throat and I just can't do it.

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    • It's not just normal nervousness. I literally lose the ability to speak. Once I actually threw up. It's more than nervousness. It's this crazy fear that just causes me to shut down. I need a way to ask him out either without talking or without actually saying the words "you wanna go out?"

    • The only way I can think to do this without asking is telling someone to do it for you and ask this person to explain to him about your extreme anxiety. I can't tell you if this will be effective though. Well, think that it's not a very big deal to ask him out, I know it doesn't make sense now, but actually it's not as bad as it seems to be.

What Girls Said 0

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