Should you wait until (sometime) after you've had sex to tell a girl you love her?

I just worry she might think I'm coming on too strong if I tell her before.

Girls what would you think of a guy you're dating if he said he loved you when you hadn't even had sex yet?
  • I'd dump him
    Vote A
  • I'd be disappointed but wouldn't give up on him over that
    Vote B
  • I'd be only mildly bothered
    Vote C
  • It actually wouldn't bother me
    Vote D
  • See answers
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Girl

  • It depends. Like if you it's A&E havibg sex for the first time and you've only been dating like a month probably not the best time. If you're like "wham bam thankyou ma'am snore by the way I love u" also not the best time. If you want to say it after sex that's fine just do it after the Oxycotin or whatever feel good cocktail wears off so she doesn't think you only love her for sex.

    • That's why a sometime in brackets, I didn't mean immediately after sex, I just meant sometime after you've reached that stage of the relationship.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you should tell them you love them when you feel you love them. Don't say it because y'all had sex, but say it if you really do love that person. Be honest.

    • I wouldn't say it before I love her, but I'm worried about saying it too soon and her being put off by it.

    • No. It's honesty. Why not be honest?

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • It depends on how long we have been dating, of when to say I love you. Obviously if we have been together for like 2 weeks, it would be creepy. But I mean, if it was like 9 months or a year or something, I think you should be able to. For the having sex with them, it really depends on the person.

  • i find the order wrong.

    if ur telling someone u love them AFTER sex, then do u really love them or the sex? that's how id think of it anyway.

    i reckon u need to make those feelings clear beforehand, just so she knows u aren't falling purely in lust.

    • I don't mean immediately after sex, just sometime after you've reached that stage of the relationship. I thought it might seem too soon/overly eager to say it in the early stages of dating.

    • lol i know what u meant.
      saying it before sex doesn't mean ur saying it in the first month, unless of course ur planning to have sex pretty quick.
      if u really love her, u need to take ur time and not rush. sex will come, but you'll wanna deepen that emotional connection first right?

  • I'm confused. I'm dating a guy, so obviously I like him, and he tells me he loves me? What's the down side? If he says it on the first date, I think he's a little desperate, and that's not attractive, but once we've gotten to know each other, I'd kinda like for him to get to that place. I won't be sleeping with him until I love him.

    • I think the issue is how much time is needed to go by before it stops looking desperate. I'm actually a bit curios my self.(I tend to wait a long time to say it personally)

  • Vote E = Instant + immediate deal breaker = HUGE red flags = Im RUNNING away... like RIGHT NOW!!!

  • It should actually come way before.
    Not unless this is some kind of friends with benefits situation or casual encounter. I have no experience on that subject but I would imagine most of those types would see it as coming on too strong since they want no strings attached.


What Guys Said 3

  • If she can orgasm through penetration.. Say 'I love you baby (or princess)' so when she's about to climax she won't be able to react or even talk until the orgasm is over

  • If you can get a girl to have sex without saying i love you to her, then i applaud for you, *clap clap clap*

    • So you think it's alright to say it that early on? (Or even normal to say it before you've had sex?)

  • I wouldn't say it till after sex


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