Am I imagining things, or are people trying to be more controlling in relationships? Why all of this anxiety and insecurity?


Most Helpful Guy

  • A lot of it is so called "relationship experts" and advice. They seem to want to drain all the altruism out of relationships. Anytime someone does something nice without expecting anything in return, they are told they are giving up some kind of "power". They turn mutual support and love into a life or death struggle for "power". No wonder so many people's relationships are failing.

    For instance, my ex used to keep track of every nice thing she did for me, and after she would demand something from me. It turned what should have been the best experience of our lives into a pseudo business negotiation.

    I get enough of that kind of stuff at work, when I come home I want to look forward to a woman who loves me as much as I love her, and is willing to be altruistic, and loving and trusting. She has nothing to worry about I would never hurt her, ever!

    • Score keepers have no place in successful relationships. It all sounds so selfish like the repayment of a great debt with interest. Very astute☆☆☆☆☆

Most Helpful Girl

  • Look at the media.. The unrealistic movies of fantasy "perfect love". Its so common to be cheated on, divorced, left for another. People throw the word "love" around without actually knowing the meaning these days. I have noticed that the more fear one person has of being left or being cheated on, etc, the more likely it will be that that person will control and destroy you. Sometimes without even realizing they are doing it. Trust within a relationship is very hard to come by these days. So hard in fact that most people get into relationships already expecting the worst. Which in turn leaves a bad taste in their mouths throughout the entire relationship. I don't neccesarily believe it is these peoples faults. The more hurt one individual is, the more likely control will come into play. I've been in my relationship for four years. The trust is not 100%, but we have come such a long way from where we were. It all depends on how bad people want it and if they are willing to fight through today's society images of a perfect relationship. Because a perfect relationship does not exist.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • I wonder the same thing myself. They must not be happy with themselves or didn't get enough love at home. They think actual love is the masochism portrayed in vampire love series.

    • It does seem that way as if love isn't genuine unless entirely tragic. That's fine for fictional dramas but applied to real life, it's unhealthy. ♡

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