Should I tell my Best Guy Friend that I'm casually dating that I need space, or should I calm down and give it time?

He's 29 and I'm 23. He's very emotionally guarded but g ababsolutely huge on communication and hates it when I go silent on him. He was previously married and they were together for a long time before they got married and 3 months into their marriage he was being treated in the hospital and she filed for a divorce and had him served while he was being treated. That was 3 years ago.

We;'ve known each other about a year and have been hanging out but it's been more "dating" like and physical the last few months. We're very comfortable around each other and he tellsme he feels like he can be completely himself with me. We've never had sex but we have slept together and held hands and made out.

Everything is great and he's sweet and a gentleman. My problem is that he's not looking for a relationship yet. He mentioned something about being interested in me but he was afraid of losing his independence. I have no desire to take it away but I can't tell if he just doesn't want one with me or if it's because he's trying to finish up his last semester of college and getting his own place first. I'm falling in love with him and I want more. He knows I want more and hasn't run for the hills yet but this is starting to hurt. Not just because I want more but because he's my best friend and that means more to me than anything. Do I need to walk away? If I do, do I need to tell him why I'm cutting off contact? He's used to girls losing interest and jumping ship on him so I feel like I should but at the same time I don't want to over kill this topic. I'm an irrational emotional wreck right now and I don't want to mess this up.

(He also very rarely texts and generally only asks to hang out if we're leaving work at the same time. He does this with everyone but it still sucks. He's not really big on tech.)


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  • I say you tell him if he feels something he'll give you a reason as to why he doesn't want a relationship or maybe some hope. To me it seems he's still heartbroken about his ex-wife.


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