Why did he cry when we broke up?

We broke up pretty much completely because of him and his disinterest. He said he wanted to like me because I had so many good qualities but he treated had bad views on women in general and wouldn't drop his walls. He never let me in and thought about everything in black and white. He did this in other relationships.

I I liked him and hoped if I continue to be open, honest, kind just myself that he would let me in but this ultimately wasn't the case. I was willing to keep trying if he was because part of the problem is that neither of us have been in a LTR in a while so it take adjusting. He wasn't willing to keep trying so we split.

when I went to get my things as I went to hug him good bye I saw he was crying which made me so confused. I broke down and started sobbing because I just could t understand, I thought this is what he wanted. So why was he crying. It wasn't very fair to me as it just caused me more confusion and pain.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Read the male Anonymous 30-35 that starts with "Yawn, white knighting never gets old, does it?" It isn't a direct answer to your question, but reading through that entire exchange should give you some insight that may be helpful in unraveling your problem.

    • Thanks yeah that sums it up I guess. I'd already noticed this type of thinking on here and with him to some degree. I guess I was kind of silly in thinking maybe some of these women weren't dating him for the right reasons but that he would in time learn he can trust me because I was. I'm very caring and good at making people feel loved so it's worked in the past. I texted him this morning and he got right back to me and it was friendly. I just don't know if walking away is the right thing. Honestly we ended things because he told me he was indifferent to me coming over that night. I was so extremely hurt and thought maybe I was wrong about how much he cares until he was crying when I came to get my things. He said he was having an off day... I think he may have been mad at me but didn't want to tell me. I just don't feel things are resolved enough to walk away. We are good together and I haven't met someone I like this much in a long time. He just needs to learn how to open up.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh, It sounds like this guy really cares about you, which is why he was crying even though he was breaking up.

    • I texted him this morning asking him for the name of a restaurant in my neighborhood he mentioned and he texted me right back with a friendly response. I kind of feel like he is just waiting for me to say I'm sorry and ask for him back. Things were going well but I think he got upset because I teased him a little the previous day about something I thought was cute about him infrontbof friends and he is sensitive. I asked him what was wrong and he said he was just having an off day. He doesn't like confrontation. I asked if he wanted me to come over to which he said he was indifferent which really upset me and I told him so but he maintained he was only indifferent to me coming over that day not to me. I brown up with him. He was wrong in the argument Hutu guess I was wrong to break up if I was t sure. I was sure because he told expressed apathy but when he cried I was completely puzzled then doubted my decision.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think he is just really bitter. I just got out of a horrible relationship and I am incredibly bitter about it and working on it. I think he is scared that you made do the samethings another woman did to him. Have you taken him out on dates and shown him love?

    • Of course, I showed him love and appreciation. I took him to a really expensive restaurant on his birthday. He has met my family, I cook for him and he cooked too. I've met his friends and make myself available things were going great until the day we broke up. I teased him a little the day before in front of his friends but mainly about things I find endearing but he is sensitive so I don't know.

      I know he has hang ups from past relationships. Things as simple as me telling him he had soft skin and he got upset because a girl used to make fun of him for having soft hands. I told him it was a good thing. We took bubble baths together and cuddled all night. He's so smart and good with tools and fixing things. I told him all the time. But he told me he was looking for the perfect woman one time which I thought was a joke but he would be judgy of me at times and only really ever complimented me on looks though I know he thought I was smart or he would t have dated me.

  • He cried because he wanted you. You should go talk to him if there is still time. He might be cold with sharing feelings but he loved you nevertheless.
    Go back. It was a big mistake.

    • He didn't love me. He cares about me but he just is t capable of letting down his walls I'm afraid.

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    • You're right it is a cultural thing and we are from very different cultures. I carried more than my weight with his birthday stuff which was appreciated, cooking French meals, just trying to care enough for the both of us. I told him ultimately I can't be too upset because if I would have stopped I would have seen he wasn't reciprocating. He wanted to, he tried to, he just isn't in a place to when it comes down to it. His previous girlfriend did nothing so he took her out trying to buy her. I cared, he new I cared, he tried to let me pick everything as a means of making me happy but I told him all I ever wanted was to spend time with him. I would have been happy doing anything. He isn't a bad guy he is just so bad with women. I told him when he find the right person he'll be dying to spend time with her. And that I want that for him because I think he is a great person. This made him sooo happy. It's over. But at least I know it's over.

    • You are sweet person. It does not suit you to say it is over. I really think you should go to him. He cares for you. Don't let him and yourself down please.

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