I'm the worst friend you could ever have, how do I fix it?

Me and my best friend have been completely fucking trash to eachother off and on the last 4 years. Not untill recently have we been trying to fix everything we broke. For the sake of asking everyone here on gag for help, I will only focus on what I did wrong. We've talked about dating a few months ago and again the past few days. I fell in love with my best friend, she said that makes her really happy. She just got out of an abusive relationship with the guy being in jail now. She doesn't want to date, anyone, for a long time because of that and right now there are points where she just shuts herself in where I don't hear from her for days. This is our relationship as of right now, tonight.

So why am I the worst friend ever and she's the best? I suck at keeping myself calm, level headed and I always over think everything. Take now for example, I haven't herd from her since yester day fully knowing exactly why. One being that she's busy, two that she's in a really down mood, and three is her not wanting to make her problems mine. Regardless of knowing this I keep thinking I screwed up, she hates me, there's someone better to be talking to. I need ideas on how to have more confidence in what I DO know about her, not what I'm afraid of. I end up unloading my burden on her and she's willing to help to an extent which she has no reason to. I can't do that to her anymore.

Crusify me for this all you can, I've been doing it for years already. The biggest fight we had was me doing this dumbass thing I just told you all about. I drove around for 3 hours one night thinking about killing myself, I didn't, got help. Thats all I will say about that. Why I mention this is because rather than do anything to myself I decided to show her sister who was 2 years younger than her a nude picture of her, saying that her crazy boyfriend forced her to send him them which was true but the point is I'm garbage here. I need to fix this with her family, I just don't know where to start.
I don't deserve this girl that's stayed by me through everything I've done to her. I've spent the majority of the past year working on the stuff I do because I still have her in my life. I want to keep her here too, I don't care how uncomfortable I have to make myself, how hard I have to work for it or how long it will take. I'm asking for help because I need help thinking of better ideas that won't make this worse. Everything past that is on me and I know that.


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  • If her sister told her that you showed the nude picture, I feel at least you can apologize and maybe get her flowers and a sorry card to show her how sorry you are. I hope she isn't mad at you. And I hope the friendship can be saved. I think if you want to change you have to do it for yourself first. Try to view and look at things in a good way and light. Don't stress and over think things Go oit and do fun things that you like.

  • Firstly and maybe the most important thing you can do to help both you and this girl is STOP and think of how it will either improve of deteriorate the relationship that y'all have BEFORE YOU commit to doing or saying something that you can't undo. Secondly be more mindful of her problems and feelings and do what you can to help her as she has helped you. Some times just a friend to listen makes a world of difference in how a person feels and rationalizes things and don't be so quick to judge or offer advice unless it is asked for.


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