Did I make her feel ashamed? How so I handle this is future situations?

I've always been in relationships so my number I partners have been low but I've staid with them through years. I've realize I want some one with my conservative back ground I'm not a prude in the bed room I'm just not looking to spend effort and get emotionally invested in a woman who obviously didn't care that earlier men didn't either.
So I'm on a date with a woman who I'd like and she seemed nervouse it was our 4th date and guess she was bottling it in and started talking about her sexual past and guess relatively low number of partners by today's standard think it was like 15-17. I told her I was happy she was honest but I told her I was looking for some one with my values that I didn't judge her but that's just how I felt.
I was nice and sweet to her and I guess I was trying in my head to just break it off I could see she was just sad during the rest of dinner and when I dropped her off I didn't give her the same intimate hug or kiss on the cheek. She asked if we would go on another date and I said it wasn't a good idea, which got her teary eyes. She texted me after four days asking if everything is okay and if she can still see me. I know she liked me in the past and still likes me. I don't like making people feel emberassed or ashamed so I was polite but I could see made her feel bad. Was it necessary to just make a clean cut? Or is their a better way to to handle this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • There's no good way. Making a clean cut is a better way than dragging it out. You were honest and polite with her, upfront, it was a more respectful way of calling it off. A considerate man never wants to hurt their dates feelings. It would hurt her more if she were blown off and ignored, like so many people do. Many would have told her that another date would be fine, just to get her out of the car, then not return her call. Sounds like you did ok.


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  • Well its better to be honest than leading someone on just because the rejection will hurt them... Rejection is a bit painful.. so that's why she was crying...


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