What to do if guy is pulling away?

I haven't been dating this guy long & have only met him twice however both dates went great and perfect! Body language, atmosphere, attraction was all perfect! He's told me he likes me & I've told him its mutual! Now after our second date he's been a bit distant, he's still texting me & making conversation & talking about future plans saying things like 'next time' & how I'm going to have to get used to certain things (which to me indicates a long time spent) but his response time has been a lot longer! He has gone back to work which is most probably the reason & he's been out with friends.

i haven't double texted him or moaned at him for not replying, I'm not that type of person & I know he has a life, tonight however when he messaged me back he didn't seem in a very good mood & seemed off. He wasn't his usual joking self & wasn't participating in my attempts of flirting. He however was moaning a bit about work and how he has to be up early & how he needs proper time off. As he works in trade & his only real day off this week he spent both nights up late with me. I told him I'll let him get some sleep & that I'll speak to him later & told him that I hope the weather is nice for him tomorrow (works outside & has been raining here non stop). Just wondering do I ask him if he wants to do something at the weekend such as me treating him to a home cooked meal? Or do I give him space & let him get his rest? Does it sound like he's pulling away or just generally snowed under with work?


Most Helpful Guy

  • "his only real day off this week he spent both nights up late with me" THIS is a good sign. Work takes a bite out of people, especially if they're just getting used to it. It sounds like he's really worn down from working, but he does want to spend time with you... maybe he feels awkward/embarrassed that he can't spend as much time with you as he'd like to, and he's kind of avoiding you as a result, waiting until he can give you his "full attention" or something like that.

    That might be a little TOO much interpretation on my part as for his reasons... but it still sounds like you've got something to hold on to. Good luck, and hang in there! Work may be a big bummer taking up most of his life, but you can be his sunshine!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think making an effort to see him is a great idea.
    See how he responds to that.

    I know that his life is busy and hectic.
    But you have to consider yourself in the process.
    Can you establish something with a guy that puts you on his backburner? You'll always feel second to every thing else in his life.
    I know it's a talk you don't want to have... because you feel it may add a bit of negativity.
    If you continue to ignore that he's not answering you as much... it will keep bothering you.
    Your emotions will grow larger and bigger, it will be something you can't ignore.
    The talk is very important and it's not something that should be left alone.

    I suggest that you don't mention it now (because it's still very early on).
    However, if you observe nothing changing you have to say something to him about it.
    Do not complain... just mention it.
    You can only build if you have tools.
    If he's using all of the tools for his own reasons, what are you left with?

    <3 good luck!
    Best wishes


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Not much you can do really... All you can do is try to keep your relationship as exciting as possible by trying out new things and whatnot


What Girls Said 2

  • I think he's just tired from work. Give him a little time and I'm sure he'll go back normal :)

  • I do nothing


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