i dated a girl 2 years ago and before me she was in relationship with a guy that she used to cheat on and he cheated on her.. she recently got in contact with me asking how i was and laddie daddie da.. she then says to me she's back with the guy and she doesn't know why because the relationship isn't going anywhere but their trying and she's trying to make it work and people in public dont see them having a connection like we did and this and that.. i said well i hope you work out your stuff and pls leave me out of it as i have a girlfriend and we are happily living together and do our own thing.. my question is why would she leave a stable relationship to go back into a toxic relationship and expect a broken relationship to work again and still pretend everything is good when she is miserable?
Most Helpful Girl
Low self confidence and a manipulative man.
I used to always ask myself WHY WOULD SHE STAY?
That was until I found myself in an abusive relationship.
The man I was with started off so sweet and caring, made all these plans with me, really doted on me. He made me feel so special. He wanted to spent all his time with me. Which was nice in the beginning but gradually it caused me to push all my friends and family away (something in hindsight he wanted to isolate me).
As the relationship went on he started to chip at my self esteem. A sly cutting comment here. Laughing at an insecurity there. Comparing me to other women "jokingly". Before I knew it I found myself in a situation where I felt like I had to PROVE my worth to him. I would try harder and harder to be a better girlfriend hoping things would go back to how they were in the beginning. But the more I tried the worse he would treat me.
When I would finally reach breaking point and pull away or stop trying low and behold the sweet guy I knew in the beginning would come back. I would fall for it but It would never last long though and gradually his bad behaviour would return and I would find myself putting up with more and more crap.
It got to a point where I thought it was ok for him to physically grab and threaten me and wasn't sleeping or eating. I was suffering with anxiety as I was worried he was cheating on me (he was btw) and I would be humiliated. I started passing out from not eating. I was convinced I needed a better body to keep him faithful. I was a mess. Within 6 months I had gone from an attractive, confident successful scientist to a bony, anaemic mess.
The worst part was I had trouble talking about how bad the relationship was to my friends and family as I was embarrassed and felt stupid as I praised him so much in the beginning and he had and unfortunately still has this nice funny guy persona he puts on so I thought nobody would believe me.
So hopefully that gives you some insight but to answer your question; because she's being crushed and manipulated and deep down doesn't think she deserves any better.
It's a vicious cycle.2
Most Helpful Guy
I could give you a real answer for this, but it's so damn long and would hurt so many feelings that I don't really think it'd be worth posting it in here.
If you REALLY wanna talk about it, make an account and PM me or something. Otherwise, to sum it up as quickly as possible?