Guys, my overweight boyfriend is being really cautious about his weight, what should I do as his girlfriend to support him?

My boyfriend is overweight, and has been since we started dating. I'm average sized. We never really talked about weight, and I don't feel that's neccesary anyways. Lately though, I can tell he's a lot more self-conscious about his weight, and he's been showing me that he's trying to be healthier.

What should I do as his girlfriend to support him? I think it's better for him to lose weight, especially for health reasons, but I don't want to make him feel like he NEEDS to lose weight. I'm trying to be really careful because I know this is a sensitive topic for him. Should I be encouraging him verbally? Helping him lose weight? Or pretend I don't notice? Thanks!


Most Helpful Guy

  • He has already made it clear that he wants to do it to be healthier. He is also doing it for you, so he can be there for you, though he doesn't want to tell you that. Support him by focusing on healthy lifestyle. More whole foods, less junk, more exercise, even if he doesn't do it that much the key is improvement. When I wanted to loose some weight my Dr. said "1 lb a month." Because it is a lifestyle change not a diet, which by the way they have something like 90% failure rate.

    When he loses a noticeable amount of weight, tell him how good you think he looks, and how he is definitely looking healthier. If he lasts longer in bed, be sure and point out how much more stamina he has (He will LOVE this!), and if you notice other positive changes just point them out.


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What Guys Said 4

  • Just compliment him when he makes progress. But if your together and he orders desert just let it go. Just keep encouraging him. You sound like a great girlfriend.

  • Ask him if this is a choice that he really wants, and that regardless of his choice, you will be behind it.

    Make him KNOW that HE is the one making this choice for HIMSELF. If he wants to proceed forward, BE there for him, and when I mean be there, I mean support him not just verbally, but physically too.

    For example, if he wants to lose weight, exercise with him. Be a part of his life and show him that's he is not alone in his venture.

    You know, gay lovey dovey shit like that.

  • Telling him like you told us seems great !

    "Honey, I appreciate that you are losing weight for your health and maybe even for me. I think you look great already but I support you in your endeavor."

    Sounds nice too...

  • A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that exercise makes you lose weight.

    It does, but only barely so.

    First thing, take out any processed sugar in your diets. Deserts should be very rare, like once a week.
    Once you do that, start substituting breads with protein (fewer pastas and sandwiches, add in steaks and chicken salads).
    After that, reduce portions. Do all of this over the course of a couple months, and you'll see a huge improvement to your weight. I've lost a lot of weight by doing this.

    You could initiate this by saying stuff like, "No, thanks. I'm trying to be a bit healthier" when something loaded with sugar comes up. Or say how you wanted to try a recipe for a Caesar salad (don't diss on salads; pepper, ranch, lemon juice and a crapton of chicken goes a long way).

    And mention once every couple weeks (not too often) that he looks good. Don't really mention improvement on weight until it's obvious. Otherwise, he'll think you're worried about it.


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