In my completely inexperienced view, I just don't see how or why it matters. To me it seems like a subjective thing. Some people like to advance quickly through the stages of an evolving relationship and others like to take things slow (and the differences in how couples evolve demonstrate that). To me, it doesn't seem like there's a right or wrong with this and in my opinion, unless one is actually uncomfortable, I don't see why anyone would want to artificially "slow things down".
What am I missing? Why do some people consider it beneficial for a relationship to evolve slowly?
Most Helpful Girl
It doesn't matter, and when people sabotage something because it is "moving too fast" it's not really the pace that isn't working for them, it's their own baggage or reservations or the fact that it's just not the right relationship for them.
What matters in any relationship is that both partners are on the same page at the same time. If one is getting ahead of the other, that's gonna cause friction and it's probably not going to work out. When you're with the right person, you'll find that your timelines match, or that you're not really paying attention to the timelines at all.
For example, my boyfriend was with his ex for two years before they moved in together. She was the one who wanted to live together and he had serious reservations about it, despite having been with her for over two years. Well, they moved in together and broke up like two months later. At the time, he thought he wasn't "ready" for that, but reality was, she just wasn't the right partner for him.
Now, we've been together ten months and we are going to be moving in together in 3 or 4 months, depending on a couple of external circumstances. We first said "I love you" about four months in. We are talking about buying a home together in about a year, year and a half... our timeline is totally different than any of our past relationships. Much faster, actually. With any other guy, I'd be freaking out at the thought of moving in together before/around 1 year an BUYING a home together around the two year mark... with the wrong person, that sounds absolutely crazy. But with him, it just makes sense.1THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Guy
Making major purchases together, singing contracts (i. e. marriage) or having kids require some thought and probably time to see how you work as a couple.
Other then that? go naturally.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE