Is my best friend's new relationship unhealthy?

One of my best friends met a girl at our college's early registration event. Over the course of three months they began to talk to each other daily (text, phone, and Skype).. By the time college began the two were dating. They dated two weeks before a new girl showed up. My friend, we'll call him Josh, dumped his girlfriend because this other girl (we'll call her Eliza) has been paying him a lot of attention. Eliza hasn't made any other friends except for Josh (and his friends). She doesn't hang out with other girls, but spends everyday following Josh around. She wears his baseball hats and is by his side every chance she gets in the day. Eliza obviously likes Josh, and he seems unsure if he likes her. I don't know if he likes her or the attention she gives him. Eliza gets Josh to stay up late every night with her - usually to 3am - even though he has morning classes. During the day, they are together all the time. You never see one without the other. Whenever I, or any of Josh's friends hang out with the two - we're made to feel like a third wheel. Sometimes I wish I could just hang out with Josh without Eliza around, but they are together all the time. Since moving to college, I haven't gotten to hang out at all with my best friend because of the third wheel aspect in his new relationship. I have other friends that I'm making, but it feels like Josh is distancing himself from all his friends and only hanging out with Eliza. She's a nice girl, but sometimes I want to just talk to my friend without her around. I'm wondering if this is normal for a new relationship? Do you think their relationship will last with her following him around all the time, or is that a red flag? Should I confront Josh, or just let this relationship play out? It sucks being a third wheel all the time.


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  • To be honest, they're just in the early phase of dating. Soon, it will most likely grow out of that because I'm sure your friend will want at least a little bit of space.

    Instead of confronting him about the relationship, I would just convey to him how you miss having guy time with just the two of you and how you want to talk to him about personal things that you don't want anyone else to know about. (Unless he specifically asks for your opinion, he might take offense if you give advice on his relationship.)

    Hope things get better for you two! Good luck ^^v~!

    • Oh sorry I didn't mean guy time... I mean best friend time... Lol I'm sorry I totally didn't see the gender of the post. That's totally my bad. I apologize.

  • I don't know if it will last or not but I have come to realize that when your friends start a new relationship you won't get to see theme for about 1-2 years or so. It's like they never had any other friends. Everything revolves around their new partner and they'll isolate themselves. They have to squeeze you in their daily schedule weeks before you can meet them if you want to have a cup of coffee with them every month or so.
    But the good news is that if they get past that, they'll suddenly realize that there are other people out there whom they used to hang out with before they started their new relationship and that's when they kinda start to hang out with you again and if you're lucky you also get to know their partner and you might end up becoming good friends!


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